Monday, July 30, 2012

Job Hunting

So now that Summer Fun is finally over, and I'm not in school for the first time this year, I have a little bit of spare time to update our lives via blog post. But that also means I have to spend a good part of that spare time job hunting. I never realized it until now, but for the past 3 years or so I haven't had to really search for a job because a family friend always came through for me and offered me a job without me having to even interview! I must say though that the part I am most sad about with having to job search is that I have to leave my job at the park. Working for Jason at the park with those kids is seriously the best job I've ever had. It was rewarding, it was fun, it was relaxed, and my schedule was always flexible. I guess you could say I was very spoiled. But in a way, I'm grateful for this opportunity to fend for myself because it's a good reminder that not all things in life can just be handed to you. Nothing's wrong with having to work hard to get a job so that you can work hard to financially support your family. I'm really excited though! Josh and I are finally finally finally moving to Laie on Wednesday. We have been living in Mililani just waiting to get into TVA (the on-campus married housing) which has a very long list. We started off as #142 and when we got in we were like #30 or something. We're very grateful! And way excited that we get to be closer to school (no more commuting! yay!) and closer to our friends. I have about one year left of school and Josh has two. I think it'll go by really fast, so I hope we can manage to create tons of fun memories together, and with our friends as well.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

The Mangled Mango

So today I found out that I don't know how to cut a mango. Apparently there's a ginormous seed in the middle that I have never known despite my 22+ years of living in a tropical climate where mangoes are in abundance and eaten all the time. Why have I never cut a mango before? This boggled my mind. It all started when I had just finished brushing my teeth this morning and Josh came into the bathroom saying that he didn't know how to cut it. In my mind I was like, it's just a fruit, how hard could it be? So, wanting to be the wonderful wifey to him I offered to cut it. Again, how hard could it be? I grab a knife and start cutting. My knife gets stuck in the middle. Hmm, I thought. Must be frozen in the middle! It had just come out of the fridge and sometimes our fridge freezes things (like my easter egg that froze-splode...that is another story). So I grabbed the butcher knife thinking, this will make things so much easier! Again I attack the mango. Again it defies my knife. So I decided to twist the halves I was able to semi-cut and rip it apart. I go to Josh and say, "Josh, the middle is frozen. Sorry I couldn't cut it." He looks at me, confused at first, then says, " do know mangoes have seeds in the middle right?" And I say, "You mean like an avocado???? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THAT!!" Naturally, Josh starts cracking up. He even took a VIDEO of it on his iPhone to document it while saying, "Two knives and one mangled mango later, Ari found out she doesn't know how to cut a mango. I love my wife." Normally, if something like this were to happen in the past, I would have felt horrible and started putting myself down for not knowing how to do such a simple task and be the perfect cookie cutter wife who knows how everything in the kitchen is supposed to go down. I am FAR, far, FAR from that. But you know what? This morning, I did not mind. I actually was able to find the humor in the situation! I even surprised myself by saying, "Hah, I'm not even embarrassed!!" And Josh said good, because then I would've had to cheer you up. Isn't it much easier laughing things off? He was right. Today, I really realized how much I have grown as a person since marrying my best friend. I realized how much our love has grown. I realized that nothing we see in society or pop culture defines love. Josh may not get me flowers once a month like the world leads me to believe I should expect from a "perfect" hubby, but he does buy me ice cream to make me happy everytime "that time of the month" comes. He may not write me poems, sing me romantic songs, or cook me a candlelight dinner like they do in the movies, but every time I'm about to have an emotional breakdown when something goes wrong, he laughs. I used to be so confused, but he explained that the face I make right before I cry is so cute, he just has to laugh. How can I not smile as his warm eyes glow with love for me and his laugh melts my heart? It's little blessings like this that make me realize how perfect he is for me. We are coming up on our one year anniversary pretty soon, and honestly, it already feels like we've been married forever. And...I love it.

Friday, March 2, 2012

My Resolve

Yesterday I resolved to be happy with what I am given.

Living with negative energy is a waste of life. It's better to accept everything that I can't control, and make happiness out of what we have.

Leap Day 2012
photo by Amber Mozo (i love it!!!)

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Need for Closure

I've always been one who needs closure. Whether it's not being able to stop working on an assignment/project until it's finished, or whether I've had a falling out with someone and, over two years later, I still have no explanation for why things happened that way and no closure. You can probably guess that this blog is going to be about the latter.

I consider myself a very passionate person. I know I've said this before, but it's very true. If you could compare me to any fictitious character, I'd probably suggest Jasper from the Twilight series. How he's so empathetic with others and can feel their emotions. That's how I've been my whole life. That's why some people consider me easy to get along with, it's because I pay close attention to who they are and what they like, and then I do everything I can to not cross them. Simply put, I don't like contention. So I go out of my way to avoid it. In my family, if someone needs something, I go out of my way to give it to them or to at least comfort them if they're in need. I'll bake cookies for my housemates, buy ice cream for my little sister who's had a rough day with the girls at her school, and I'll wash and fold laundry for my husband while he's at work to give him one less thing to worry about. Sometimes people notice my acts of kindness, sometimes they don't. Sometimes I care about whether or not they notice, and sometimes I don't. I honestly want other people to be happy. And in my mind it's easy to make another person happy. You just do service for them. Anything that will ease their burdens or add a little cheer to their day. But something I've always struggled with was feeling happy with myself, especially after waking up from having another dream where things between me and a former friend are happy and perfect again.

Some people are able to let the past be the past. But for me, if there was no closure to the past, then the past still eats away at me from time to time. I blame myself for losing friends even when I'm not sure how I lost them. That's the only explanation I can think of. I have these recurring dreams that make me wonder if I really should take a step of courage and try to patch things up again. I value every friend, and I put all my heart into every relationship I have.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I just needed to express some things on my mind that have been bottled up. Maybe I need some type of catharsis.

I hope some day I'll have the courage to patch things up.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Sometimes Facebook can be good for you

There's a girl my age who used to be in my parents' ward (she has since gotten married and moved) who posted a link on Facebook to watch a hilarious music video spoof of 'California Gurls' by Katy Perry. DivineComedy at BYU (basically a comedy team/group that performs some pretty funny skits, mostly teasing Provo culture) made a video called 'Provo, UT Gurls'. It's pretty good if you understand the jokes. So that video provided some entertainment, but somehow I saw a different link leading me to another video that was of a little more serious nature than the Katy Perry spoof. It's called 'The Law of Chastity is Not a Crash Diet'. It starts off being really cute (watching and seeing what the kids choose to do) and in the end there's a touching message. Then, after reading the comments, I was led to a link which took me to what inspired me to make this blog post.

Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf's April 2010 General Conference Talk entitled Continue In Patience.

The reason why this talk meant so much to me is because just this morning I was being sort of a drama queen. As Josh puts it, I "woke up on the wrong side of the bed." I dunno, maybe it's a girl thing, or maybe it's just me, but I tend to get upset over little things, and when big things happen I'm relatively calm about it (unless there's potential danger to me or my loved ones). Anyways, this morning's "drama" was me getting mad at Josh because today was our last day of break before school begins again on Monday and I knew he was scheduled to work at 2pm, so I wanted to hike yesterday as he would be off work. Thus, we could take our time hiking and what not. So I woke up this morning pissed that we did not go hiking yesterday. I know, I know. Stupid. But luckily I have a very level-headed and loving husband who talked it out with me and brought me to my senses. I got ready and after we got into the car I was still feeling slightly upset so I decided to say a prayer. I started crying because I realized how silly, selfish, and prideful I had been. Not trying to be self-destructive, just stating the obvious. So I prayed for strength to overcome these weaknesses for Josh. He deserves for me to better myself so that I may bless him. I don't want to be a burden, even in trivial situations such as this one. After that I was calm and cheered up. Prayers work wonders.

This talk was basically an answer to my prayers. I honestly want to work hard at bettering myself so that I may better my relationship and, in turn, better the part of Josh's life that I directly affect by my actions. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father loves us enough to inspire these righteous men to represent Him and to send His messages of love and guidance through out the world. I know that they are true witnesses of the Lord.

It's amazing how much peace one can feel after resolving a struggle, and seeing that there really is hope in many other wonderful things to look forward to.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

New Year, New Thoughts

We have been on Christmas/Winter break from school for almost 3 weeks now and it has been completely amazing. Since I quit the USS MO I've been pretending that I'm unemployed (when really I'm only taking a break from the Dept. of Parks and Rec. job). Pretty much, I've mentally checked out these 3 weeks and it's been wonderful! Josh and I have been surfing a lot (that's a given), hanging out with our friend Robert, who came home from BYU-Provo for the holidays, and Josh's other buddies from Hawaii Kai. So we've slept over his parents house a lot in Niu Valley. We just use his old room. His family is so nice about it, they're the best in-laws I could ask for! Really, they take such good care of us. We also went to my family's annual holiday camp at Bellows from Dec. 28-31. That was really fun. Other than that, we started watching some new shows in addition to our 'Office' infatuation. I remembered a show I saw when I was a freshman in college called Lie to Me. We're in Season 2 now. And we also started Burn Notice! Gahhhh I freakin love Netflix.

Yesterday was such a wonderful day because Josh was actually off of work on a Wednesday, which pretty much never happens. I had planned for us to do a sunrise hike at the Pillboxes in Kailua (bunkers), but we ended up sleeping in until 9 am (which NEVER happens!!). I made Josh an omelette breakfast while he washed our Buick and Jake and Wendy's car. He was in a good mood so I was in a good mood too! Mom, Amalie, and Shy came over to help Shy make stuff for her son Fenix's birthday party on Saturday. After that was pau, we ate lunch and packed the car to go surfing. We then came home around 5 and got ready to go out for dinner! We ate at CPK in Waikiki, then went to Ward to watch Sherlock Holmes (which was pretty good!). Mind you, we did this all fo' freeeeee!!! My favorite kind of date. Mom & Pops Graham gave us a gift card for CPK for Christmas, and Isaac & Shy gave us the Consolidated Theatres gift card. Thanks guys!!! Again, yesterday was so wonderful because it was a full day of Ari and Josh.

Yesterday Josh asked me an interesting question: "How did we work out? It doesn't make any sense." Assuming anybody reading this blog knows me and how my life has been, they might agree. I told Josh that I didn't know, but I'm just so grateful that we did work out. Marriage has been hard but it's been so amazing at the same time! Hard only because it is a new experience and takes some adjusting. Today I realized something. For my whole life I've struggled with self-confidence/esteem issues. Even being married, knowing someone loves me despite seeing all my faults and weaknesses, I can still get pretty down on myself once in awhile (which I know is very unhealthy, but I'm working on it). When I think of myself, independent of anyone else, I don't feel content. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong, or I could be doing something better, or I could improve myself in some way. But when I think of me and Josh as a unit, I feel so...content. And happy. And complete. Sure, I'm still a "naive newlywed" of 7-ish months, but I've learned a lot in these 7 months. Right from the start, the learning began. I'm so happy in the situation I am, and so grateful, that sometimes when I think about all of it and how happy I am and how lucky and blessed I am to even be in this situation...although it may not always be perfect, like my husband said, it works. And that's all that matters to me.

So those are just my thoughts. I'm so excited for this new year! Happy New Year :)