New Year, New Thoughts
We have been on Christmas/Winter break from school for almost 3 weeks now and it has been completely amazing. Since I quit the USS MO I've been pretending that I'm unemployed (when really I'm only taking a break from the Dept. of Parks and Rec. job). Pretty much, I've mentally checked out these 3 weeks and it's been wonderful! Josh and I have been surfing a lot (that's a given), hanging out with our friend Robert, who came home from BYU-Provo for the holidays, and Josh's other buddies from Hawaii Kai. So we've slept over his parents house a lot in Niu Valley. We just use his old room. His family is so nice about it, they're the best in-laws I could ask for! Really, they take such good care of us. We also went to my family's annual holiday camp at Bellows from Dec. 28-31. That was really fun. Other than that, we started watching some new shows in addition to our 'Office' infatuation. I remembered a show I saw when I was a freshman in college called Lie to Me. We're in Season 2 now. And we also started Burn Notice! Gahhhh I freakin love Netflix.
Yesterday was such a wonderful day because Josh was actually off of work on a Wednesday, which pretty much never happens. I had planned for us to do a sunrise hike at the Pillboxes in Kailua (bunkers), but we ended up sleeping in until 9 am (which NEVER happens!!). I made Josh an omelette breakfast while he washed our Buick and Jake and Wendy's car. He was in a good mood so I was in a good mood too! Mom, Amalie, and Shy came over to help Shy make stuff for her son Fenix's birthday party on Saturday. After that was pau, we ate lunch and packed the car to go surfing. We then came home around 5 and got ready to go out for dinner! We ate at CPK in Waikiki, then went to Ward to watch Sherlock Holmes (which was pretty good!). Mind you, we did this all fo' freeeeee!!! My favorite kind of date. Mom & Pops Graham gave us a gift card for CPK for Christmas, and Isaac & Shy gave us the Consolidated Theatres gift card. Thanks guys!!! Again, yesterday was so wonderful because it was a full day of Ari and Josh.
Yesterday Josh asked me an interesting question: "How did we work out? It doesn't make any sense." Assuming anybody reading this blog knows me and how my life has been, they might agree. I told Josh that I didn't know, but I'm just so grateful that we did work out. Marriage has been hard but it's been so amazing at the same time! Hard only because it is a new experience and takes some adjusting. Today I realized something. For my whole life I've struggled with self-confidence/esteem issues. Even being married, knowing someone loves me despite seeing all my faults and weaknesses, I can still get pretty down on myself once in awhile (which I know is very unhealthy, but I'm working on it). When I think of myself, independent of anyone else, I don't feel content. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong, or I could be doing something better, or I could improve myself in some way. But when I think of me and Josh as a unit, I feel so...content. And happy. And complete. Sure, I'm still a "naive newlywed" of 7-ish months, but I've learned a lot in these 7 months. Right from the start, the learning began. I'm so happy in the situation I am, and so grateful, that sometimes when I think about all of it and how happy I am and how lucky and blessed I am to even be in this situation...although it may not always be perfect, like my husband said, it works. And that's all that matters to me.
So those are just my thoughts. I'm so excited for this new year! Happy New Year :)
Yesterday was such a wonderful day because Josh was actually off of work on a Wednesday, which pretty much never happens. I had planned for us to do a sunrise hike at the Pillboxes in Kailua (bunkers), but we ended up sleeping in until 9 am (which NEVER happens!!). I made Josh an omelette breakfast while he washed our Buick and Jake and Wendy's car. He was in a good mood so I was in a good mood too! Mom, Amalie, and Shy came over to help Shy make stuff for her son Fenix's birthday party on Saturday. After that was pau, we ate lunch and packed the car to go surfing. We then came home around 5 and got ready to go out for dinner! We ate at CPK in Waikiki, then went to Ward to watch Sherlock Holmes (which was pretty good!). Mind you, we did this all fo' freeeeee!!! My favorite kind of date. Mom & Pops Graham gave us a gift card for CPK for Christmas, and Isaac & Shy gave us the Consolidated Theatres gift card. Thanks guys!!! Again, yesterday was so wonderful because it was a full day of Ari and Josh.
Yesterday Josh asked me an interesting question: "How did we work out? It doesn't make any sense." Assuming anybody reading this blog knows me and how my life has been, they might agree. I told Josh that I didn't know, but I'm just so grateful that we did work out. Marriage has been hard but it's been so amazing at the same time! Hard only because it is a new experience and takes some adjusting. Today I realized something. For my whole life I've struggled with self-confidence/esteem issues. Even being married, knowing someone loves me despite seeing all my faults and weaknesses, I can still get pretty down on myself once in awhile (which I know is very unhealthy, but I'm working on it). When I think of myself, independent of anyone else, I don't feel content. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong, or I could be doing something better, or I could improve myself in some way. But when I think of me and Josh as a unit, I feel so...content. And happy. And complete. Sure, I'm still a "naive newlywed" of 7-ish months, but I've learned a lot in these 7 months. Right from the start, the learning began. I'm so happy in the situation I am, and so grateful, that sometimes when I think about all of it and how happy I am and how lucky and blessed I am to even be in this situation...although it may not always be perfect, like my husband said, it works. And that's all that matters to me.
So those are just my thoughts. I'm so excited for this new year! Happy New Year :)
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