An Opportunity Rather Than a Trial
Anyway, I was feeling very moody today... I was grumpy when Josh and I woke up to surf at 5:30 am. I was grumpy when we got out of the water. I was grumpy when we surfed Turtle Bay at 10 am. Grumpy when we got out of the water. The horrible part is all the while, Josh is going out of his way trying to make me feel better (like...very out of his way....like embarrassing himself to make me laugh out of the way) and at first I always reject his efforts. After awhile though, he manages to soften my heart and I crack a smile and all is hunky dory from there. And I do apologize for mistreating him. He deserves to be treated so much better, but sometimes my mood just makes it impossible for me to think straight! So anyway, after I felt better around 1 pm, I made the choice to change my day around and to be happy. And it worked! It's amazing how powerful such a simple decision can be. I enjoyed my last few hours with Josh before he started work at 4.
Josh works at Turtle Bay, so I went out for a second sesh there (totaling 3 surf sessions today...I'm on Fall break). We always say a little prayer before surfing, whether together or not, so in my prior I was asking for safety and asking to have fun, but then I stopped. And I said, no, wait Heavenly Father. You know what? Please help me to treat others kindly in the water and make sure they have fun too. And with that I hopped into the water.
Things were going great...until a beginner ditched his board during a set and it hit me square in the head. Oh I was so mad. He kept saying how sorry he was and all I could do was turn around and go, "Just get out of the water! You don't know what you're doing anyways!!"
Ouch.
I mean, yeah, ouch my head hurt. But OUCH, I probably really cut him deep. I immediately regretted saying those things to him and paddled away, feeling ashamed but not wanting anyone to see my shame. I told my friend what happened and told him how much I wanted to apologize to the guy, but I was too embarrassed. So for an entire hour I kept surfing, too scared and too prideful to go over and apologize. Meanwhile, Guy Who Hit Me is sitting wayyyyy over on the shoulder away from the crowd. Just sitting. Not even attempting to go for any waves. He did this for a full hour, feeling horrible for hitting me. Gahhh I feel just awful as I sit here telling this story. So eventually I decided, if I couldn't gather up the courage myself, I'm going to pray for it. So, again I prayed. This time I asked Heavenly Father to help me catch a wave over to him so it would be easy to just paddle up to him when I got off the wave and just talk to Guy Who Hit Me. My prayer was immediately answered, and I went over and told him how sorry I was for being so rude and for taking out my pain on him and how wrong I was. He just kept apologizing over and over for hurting me but I wanted him to stop! I was the one who needed to apologize. After that, all was good and he paddled back over to the group to catch a wave. I felt as if a burden was lifted off my shoulders.
At first when I was thinking about this experience, I thought, "Wow, Heavenly Father. I asked to be kind to people and then you try me! Haha! Joke's on me, huh??" But then I realized...wait...it wasn't a trial, I was given an opportunity to do good, to do exactly what I had asked him to do. And after this realization, I felt at peace. Next time, I want to have the strength and humility to apologize right away to someone who I have offended. Better yet, I want to better myself so that I don't even react the way I did. I could've handled it so much better by telling him, "It's alright, I know it was an accident, sometimes we can't help it, etc."
It's alright though. This was yet another lesson learned in the school of the ocean :)
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