Napela's Birth Story
It's been 3 weeks now since I gave birth to our second son and I've been meaning to write this birth story since we first got home from the hospital. Needless to say, adjusting from 1 kid to 2 has been hard! Hence why it has taken me so long to write this down. I finally have a minute to sit down and write this and I should probably be taking a nap while baby is sleeping (hello sleep deprivation, my old friend!) but this is too important to forget.
I want to quickly preface this story by saying that I suffer from SPD in my pregnancies - symphysis pubis dysfunction. Basically, my body does too good of a job releasing the hormone relaxin to ready itself for birth and my pelvis gets totally unstable and misaligned and causes me so much pain. This time, it started early at 13 weeks and as baby grew and got bigger, the pain also increased.
By the time I went to my 39 week appointment, I was completely miserable. I had already been waddling for months and some days the pain shot down my left leg and made me unable to walk, because each time I put weight on that leg I felt like collapsing to the ground. I shared this with my midwife at the appointment and she said, you know, you are full-term so you could get induced tomorrow if you wanted to!
Guilt took over and made me say no, I'll wait until my body goes into labor naturally. Deep down though, I really did want to get induced and have this baby already. I went home and shared my feelings with Josh, who basically told me he'd support me in whatever decision I made. No judgement whatsoever.
2 days later on November 16 was Josh's 31st birthday! We celebrated the night before by going out to Stripsteak Waikiki, and while at this dinner I had another episode of not being able to walk due to my SPD pain. Josh basically had to carry me from the restaurant from the car. I truly wished I had a wheelchair in that moment. On the morning of his birthday, I was having irregular contractions which I thought might've been true labor, but by the time we finished breakfast it started to slow down and I got REALLY discouraged. During breakfast I told Josh, okay, this is it. I'm going to call Labor & Delivery and ask for that induction. So I did, and they told me to come in anytime we were ready.
We got home around 10 am and cleaned up the house and got Mikala ready to be picked up by my sister-in-law, Magan. I thought we'd have a much more dramatic and emotional goodbye with him, because the next time we saw him he would no longer be our only baby. However, I was having anxiety about giving birth that day so we basically rushed out the door and gave him a quick hug and kiss and drove off.
We arrived at Kaiser at 12:30 and got checked in. They checked me and I was STILL only 1-2 cm dilated and 50% effaced, just like I was a week ago. The midwife on duty, Dana, said since I was already having contractions (even though they were irregular) they'd start off gentle. Which I guess meant instead of jumping straight to the Pitocin, they'd insert a Foley bulb to mechanically put pressure on my cervix to dilate me. This made me nervous because my cousin had experience with this and she said it really hurt. It was basically a water balloon that they inserted and then inflated once it was in. She also inserted this pill into my cervix that was meant to ripen and soften it. It was super tiny, so the first attempt the midwife made to insert it, she dropped it on the ground. Then she started laughing and said "This has never happened to me before!" I was like oh great, this is starting off well. But she got a new one and inserted it then I just settled into my uncomfortable hospital bed and waited.
The midwife told me that the bulb was meant to just get me into active labor, which means 4cm+. She also said that the bulb would just "fall out" once I reached 4 cm and to call her when it did. Ummm that never happened. I contracted and contracted and waited hours and hours as the pain kept getting worse. After 4 hours the nurse came to check on the bulb by gently tugging on it. Since it didn't move, she assumed I hadn't dilated to a 4 yet. I was disappointed but knew inductions typically take a very long time so I wasn't that surprised. Josh and I were alone for a couple of hours and the nurse suggested I take a shower. I'm so glad I did! But afterwards I broke down crying to Josh because I felt like I was selfish to want this elective induction when there was no medical need, I ruined his birthday by making us spend all day inside the hospital room. I was terrified that my selfishness would lead to this baby being delivered via c-section. Not that a c-section is the worst thing that could happen, because all that matters is that our baby joined this world safely. He reassured me and comforted me. I said a prayer and felt better.
The midwife's shift ended at 8 pm and she let me know that the new midwife starting the next shift would be... Linda Chong-Tim! I was so excited because she did an AMAZING job delivering Mikala. It was such a tender mercy to me because I knew her and totally love her.
Around 10 pm the contractions got SUPER painful. According to Josh, I started "moo-ing" like a cow with each contraction haha. I had read other women's birth stories and they explained that it felt good to vocalize during contractions and I totally get it now! I couldn't just close my eyes and breathe through them, I HAD to moo with each contraction or I wouldn't be able to manage the pain lol. Linda and the new nurse, Jacinta, heard me and they said umm we're going to check you again because if you're in that much pain you must be progressing. Linda pulled on the Foley bulb cord harder than the other nurse did and it totally popped out! TMI - it was covered in my bloody show. Yes! Progress! Linda then checked me and announced I was at 6 cm. I was so glad I wasn't moo-ing for nothing haha.
Linda suggested I get the epidural to relax and get some sleep because at that point, I had been laboring for 10 hours. I gratefully accepted. Linda then broke my water to help speed things up. Things got a little scary for a moment because after she broke my water, baby's heart rate dropped for a little bit. However, his heart rate returned to normal. I did get a lot of sleep, but around 4 am my epidural wore off on my right side. It was so horrible! My left side was dead numb and my right side was burning in pain around my back and belly with each contraction. They called the anesthesiologist back and she gave me an extra strong dose of the epidural and it worked, I got some relief. However, it worked a little too well because at 6:30 am when I finally felt pressure (the feeling like you have to poop!) and I knew it was my baby's head finally descending -- meaning it was time to push! I was totally numb from the waist down. My legs were totally dead weight, and I asked my nurse if I was going to be able to push if I couldn't feel anything. I think she reassured me but I can't remember exactly what she said. Linda checked me and said my dilation was complete! I was soo so grateful because I knew she was gonna go home at 8 am when her shift ended and I really wanted her to be the one to deliver my baby.
It took about 10 minutes for Linda and the nurse to get a bunch of things ready for the delivery and then the pushing began. I was praying that my body would remember what to do because I couldn't feel a thing, and I was so happy when I did my first push and everyone got all excited because his head was already crowning with that push! Must've been muscle memory from my first delivery. They brought over the mirror for me to see my baby with each push just like with Mikala, and I totally saw baby's head! Linda massaged warm oil around my perineum to prevent tearing (which totally worked) and I pushed for 2 more contractions and he was out. Just like she did with Mikala's birth, she asked if I wanted to pull him out and I excitedly said yes I did! So I reached down after the last push and pulled him from under his shoulders and put him on my own chest. At 6:56 am, just 20 minutes after I had woken up from feeling the pressure of his head, he was born. It was so fast compared to when I pushed with Mikala, which took 1 hour.
While I did skin to skin time with baby, Linda was examining my cord so I could try and donate my cord blood. I noticed a knot in the cord but in my delirious exhausted mind thought that for some reason she tied the knot instead of clamping it. I don't know what I was thinking, haha! Then Linda paused and asked what we were naming our baby. We explained the meaning of all his names and she said this baby is a miracle. Because somehow, he was nourished for months through a cord that had a true knot in it. Josh and I looked at each other and began crying, considering the possibilities of what could've happened to baby with that knot being there. That was a moment that I felt ministering angels surrounding us and I knew he was guarded and protected and brought to us safely through priesthood power. I will never forget that moment. Thinking back to when they broke my water, causing baby to descend further, I'm thinking his heart rate dropped because it may have tightened the knot in the cord. Such a scary thought!
Last time I gave birth, my family showed up really soon after and Josh didn't get to hold Mikala until after they left. This time was so much different because we got to spend a couple of hours as just us 3 - a mother, father, and their newborn child. After I finished breastfeeding baby for a bit, Josh got to hold him and I took the sweetest photo of the two of them. Josh bonded instantly with him and it was such a sweet moment to witness.
My recovery with this birth was a little harder than the first because of how bad my SPD pain got. It doesn't help that I labored in a hospital bed for 18 hours, that probably amplified it. I couldn't even get myself up or walk to the bathroom, I needed 2 nurses and this wheelchair thing to move 5 feet to the bathroom. Someone from the physical therapy department came and did a consult with me and suggested I go home with a walker, so I did.
My in-laws brought Mikala to visit us and baby around 3 pm and my heart was finally whole and full to have both my baby boys with me again. I missed Mikala sooo much, and it hurt to think of him missing us and having to spend his first night without either of us for the first time. I have to give my in-laws a lot of credit because he cried and cried for me that first night we spent in the hospital until he fell asleep. They were very patient and loving with him and I'm so grateful.
I want to say we had less visitors at the hospital this time, but I'm okay with that because they were all family. The first time, we had a lot of friends visit and it was kind of overwhelming. I was experiencing everything for the first time - childbirth, breastfeeding, anxiety of being responsible for this tiny human all of a sudden - it was a lot to take in. This time, I had a general idea of what to expect so it wasn't as traumatizing or anxiety-inducing. I didn't cry my eyes out when they took him away to be circumcised like I did with Mikala. I was able to get Napela to latch right away because I used techniques the lactation specialists taught me with Mikala. I haven't been stressed out as much about my lack of sleep as I was with Mikala. Basically, Mikala broke me into motherhood pretty good lol. I remember that first night after Mikala was born, he cried for an hour straight while Josh and I tried unsuccessfully to calm him down. Finally we popped a pacifier into his mouth and he fell asleep and I felt my first dose of mom-guilt for introducing a pacifier to him not even 24 hours old. With Napela, he slept peacefully between feedings and I just reveled in the newness and sacredness that comes with a newborn baby.
After just one night in the hospital when Napela was born, Josh and I were super over being there and wanted to get discharged already. The chair Josh was sleeping on was so uncomfortable he threw out his back and I hate the hospital beds. I felt like I would heal faster at home and we really missed Mikala. So I went in to get induced on 11/16, gave birth on 11/17, went home on 11/18.
Adjusting to life with 2 has been a whirlwind but not as horribly hard as I imagined it! I'll write a future blog post detailing my first day attempting to run errands with a newborn and a toddler all by myself - it's actually quite hilarious but was totally stressful in the moment haha.
I am so grateful for our new baby boy - Napela Thomas Banks Kalaniki'eki'e Graham
Born November 17, 2019 at 6:56 am weighing 7 lbs 12.2 oz and measuring 20.5"
It was a great birthday present for my mother-in-law, Claudia, aka GramGraham!
I want to quickly preface this story by saying that I suffer from SPD in my pregnancies - symphysis pubis dysfunction. Basically, my body does too good of a job releasing the hormone relaxin to ready itself for birth and my pelvis gets totally unstable and misaligned and causes me so much pain. This time, it started early at 13 weeks and as baby grew and got bigger, the pain also increased.
By the time I went to my 39 week appointment, I was completely miserable. I had already been waddling for months and some days the pain shot down my left leg and made me unable to walk, because each time I put weight on that leg I felt like collapsing to the ground. I shared this with my midwife at the appointment and she said, you know, you are full-term so you could get induced tomorrow if you wanted to!
Guilt took over and made me say no, I'll wait until my body goes into labor naturally. Deep down though, I really did want to get induced and have this baby already. I went home and shared my feelings with Josh, who basically told me he'd support me in whatever decision I made. No judgement whatsoever.
2 days later on November 16 was Josh's 31st birthday! We celebrated the night before by going out to Stripsteak Waikiki, and while at this dinner I had another episode of not being able to walk due to my SPD pain. Josh basically had to carry me from the restaurant from the car. I truly wished I had a wheelchair in that moment. On the morning of his birthday, I was having irregular contractions which I thought might've been true labor, but by the time we finished breakfast it started to slow down and I got REALLY discouraged. During breakfast I told Josh, okay, this is it. I'm going to call Labor & Delivery and ask for that induction. So I did, and they told me to come in anytime we were ready.
We got home around 10 am and cleaned up the house and got Mikala ready to be picked up by my sister-in-law, Magan. I thought we'd have a much more dramatic and emotional goodbye with him, because the next time we saw him he would no longer be our only baby. However, I was having anxiety about giving birth that day so we basically rushed out the door and gave him a quick hug and kiss and drove off.
We arrived at Kaiser at 12:30 and got checked in. They checked me and I was STILL only 1-2 cm dilated and 50% effaced, just like I was a week ago. The midwife on duty, Dana, said since I was already having contractions (even though they were irregular) they'd start off gentle. Which I guess meant instead of jumping straight to the Pitocin, they'd insert a Foley bulb to mechanically put pressure on my cervix to dilate me. This made me nervous because my cousin had experience with this and she said it really hurt. It was basically a water balloon that they inserted and then inflated once it was in. She also inserted this pill into my cervix that was meant to ripen and soften it. It was super tiny, so the first attempt the midwife made to insert it, she dropped it on the ground. Then she started laughing and said "This has never happened to me before!" I was like oh great, this is starting off well. But she got a new one and inserted it then I just settled into my uncomfortable hospital bed and waited.
The midwife told me that the bulb was meant to just get me into active labor, which means 4cm+. She also said that the bulb would just "fall out" once I reached 4 cm and to call her when it did. Ummm that never happened. I contracted and contracted and waited hours and hours as the pain kept getting worse. After 4 hours the nurse came to check on the bulb by gently tugging on it. Since it didn't move, she assumed I hadn't dilated to a 4 yet. I was disappointed but knew inductions typically take a very long time so I wasn't that surprised. Josh and I were alone for a couple of hours and the nurse suggested I take a shower. I'm so glad I did! But afterwards I broke down crying to Josh because I felt like I was selfish to want this elective induction when there was no medical need, I ruined his birthday by making us spend all day inside the hospital room. I was terrified that my selfishness would lead to this baby being delivered via c-section. Not that a c-section is the worst thing that could happen, because all that matters is that our baby joined this world safely. He reassured me and comforted me. I said a prayer and felt better.
The midwife's shift ended at 8 pm and she let me know that the new midwife starting the next shift would be... Linda Chong-Tim! I was so excited because she did an AMAZING job delivering Mikala. It was such a tender mercy to me because I knew her and totally love her.
Around 10 pm the contractions got SUPER painful. According to Josh, I started "moo-ing" like a cow with each contraction haha. I had read other women's birth stories and they explained that it felt good to vocalize during contractions and I totally get it now! I couldn't just close my eyes and breathe through them, I HAD to moo with each contraction or I wouldn't be able to manage the pain lol. Linda and the new nurse, Jacinta, heard me and they said umm we're going to check you again because if you're in that much pain you must be progressing. Linda pulled on the Foley bulb cord harder than the other nurse did and it totally popped out! TMI - it was covered in my bloody show. Yes! Progress! Linda then checked me and announced I was at 6 cm. I was so glad I wasn't moo-ing for nothing haha.
Linda suggested I get the epidural to relax and get some sleep because at that point, I had been laboring for 10 hours. I gratefully accepted. Linda then broke my water to help speed things up. Things got a little scary for a moment because after she broke my water, baby's heart rate dropped for a little bit. However, his heart rate returned to normal. I did get a lot of sleep, but around 4 am my epidural wore off on my right side. It was so horrible! My left side was dead numb and my right side was burning in pain around my back and belly with each contraction. They called the anesthesiologist back and she gave me an extra strong dose of the epidural and it worked, I got some relief. However, it worked a little too well because at 6:30 am when I finally felt pressure (the feeling like you have to poop!) and I knew it was my baby's head finally descending -- meaning it was time to push! I was totally numb from the waist down. My legs were totally dead weight, and I asked my nurse if I was going to be able to push if I couldn't feel anything. I think she reassured me but I can't remember exactly what she said. Linda checked me and said my dilation was complete! I was soo so grateful because I knew she was gonna go home at 8 am when her shift ended and I really wanted her to be the one to deliver my baby.
It took about 10 minutes for Linda and the nurse to get a bunch of things ready for the delivery and then the pushing began. I was praying that my body would remember what to do because I couldn't feel a thing, and I was so happy when I did my first push and everyone got all excited because his head was already crowning with that push! Must've been muscle memory from my first delivery. They brought over the mirror for me to see my baby with each push just like with Mikala, and I totally saw baby's head! Linda massaged warm oil around my perineum to prevent tearing (which totally worked) and I pushed for 2 more contractions and he was out. Just like she did with Mikala's birth, she asked if I wanted to pull him out and I excitedly said yes I did! So I reached down after the last push and pulled him from under his shoulders and put him on my own chest. At 6:56 am, just 20 minutes after I had woken up from feeling the pressure of his head, he was born. It was so fast compared to when I pushed with Mikala, which took 1 hour.
While I did skin to skin time with baby, Linda was examining my cord so I could try and donate my cord blood. I noticed a knot in the cord but in my delirious exhausted mind thought that for some reason she tied the knot instead of clamping it. I don't know what I was thinking, haha! Then Linda paused and asked what we were naming our baby. We explained the meaning of all his names and she said this baby is a miracle. Because somehow, he was nourished for months through a cord that had a true knot in it. Josh and I looked at each other and began crying, considering the possibilities of what could've happened to baby with that knot being there. That was a moment that I felt ministering angels surrounding us and I knew he was guarded and protected and brought to us safely through priesthood power. I will never forget that moment. Thinking back to when they broke my water, causing baby to descend further, I'm thinking his heart rate dropped because it may have tightened the knot in the cord. Such a scary thought!
Last time I gave birth, my family showed up really soon after and Josh didn't get to hold Mikala until after they left. This time was so much different because we got to spend a couple of hours as just us 3 - a mother, father, and their newborn child. After I finished breastfeeding baby for a bit, Josh got to hold him and I took the sweetest photo of the two of them. Josh bonded instantly with him and it was such a sweet moment to witness.
My recovery with this birth was a little harder than the first because of how bad my SPD pain got. It doesn't help that I labored in a hospital bed for 18 hours, that probably amplified it. I couldn't even get myself up or walk to the bathroom, I needed 2 nurses and this wheelchair thing to move 5 feet to the bathroom. Someone from the physical therapy department came and did a consult with me and suggested I go home with a walker, so I did.
My in-laws brought Mikala to visit us and baby around 3 pm and my heart was finally whole and full to have both my baby boys with me again. I missed Mikala sooo much, and it hurt to think of him missing us and having to spend his first night without either of us for the first time. I have to give my in-laws a lot of credit because he cried and cried for me that first night we spent in the hospital until he fell asleep. They were very patient and loving with him and I'm so grateful.
I want to say we had less visitors at the hospital this time, but I'm okay with that because they were all family. The first time, we had a lot of friends visit and it was kind of overwhelming. I was experiencing everything for the first time - childbirth, breastfeeding, anxiety of being responsible for this tiny human all of a sudden - it was a lot to take in. This time, I had a general idea of what to expect so it wasn't as traumatizing or anxiety-inducing. I didn't cry my eyes out when they took him away to be circumcised like I did with Mikala. I was able to get Napela to latch right away because I used techniques the lactation specialists taught me with Mikala. I haven't been stressed out as much about my lack of sleep as I was with Mikala. Basically, Mikala broke me into motherhood pretty good lol. I remember that first night after Mikala was born, he cried for an hour straight while Josh and I tried unsuccessfully to calm him down. Finally we popped a pacifier into his mouth and he fell asleep and I felt my first dose of mom-guilt for introducing a pacifier to him not even 24 hours old. With Napela, he slept peacefully between feedings and I just reveled in the newness and sacredness that comes with a newborn baby.
After just one night in the hospital when Napela was born, Josh and I were super over being there and wanted to get discharged already. The chair Josh was sleeping on was so uncomfortable he threw out his back and I hate the hospital beds. I felt like I would heal faster at home and we really missed Mikala. So I went in to get induced on 11/16, gave birth on 11/17, went home on 11/18.
Adjusting to life with 2 has been a whirlwind but not as horribly hard as I imagined it! I'll write a future blog post detailing my first day attempting to run errands with a newborn and a toddler all by myself - it's actually quite hilarious but was totally stressful in the moment haha.
I am so grateful for our new baby boy - Napela Thomas Banks Kalaniki'eki'e Graham
Born November 17, 2019 at 6:56 am weighing 7 lbs 12.2 oz and measuring 20.5"
It was a great birthday present for my mother-in-law, Claudia, aka GramGraham!
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