tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89618601128271909242024-03-20T20:22:15.883-07:00The Golden GrahamsJosh + Ari + Mikala + Napela + Baby #3 due March 2021Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-19853861298032641342023-06-12T10:26:00.002-07:002023-06-12T10:26:35.296-07:00Celebrating 12 Years<p> This past weekend, Josh and I decided to take a little anniversary trip and leave our babies with their grandparents. It was the first time we didn't take our kids with us on any vacation, so I had a lot of anxiety about it but everything turned out so well!</p><p><b>Thursday, June 8</b><br />Josh and I had a gym date around 9:00 am. We rarely get to work out together because of his work schedule so this was a cute little treat Josh really wanted. Afterwards, we spent most of the day cleaning the house and packing. I also did a big grocery haul so that the kids would be stocked up with food and snacks while we were gone. The GrahamParents came over around 3:00 pm and we were on our way! I hadn't eaten lunch because I was so stressed out trying to prep everything for the kids while we were gone so we had to make a pit stop at Jack in the Box, but then, we were on our way! We drove through traffic for a bit but got to our first destination around 4:00 and we surfed Straight Outs near Kewalo Basin. It's a mellow longboarding spot and we had a perfect little afternoon surf date. <br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj9JDBrt3f4IEVAoxjPHGpCmiVKFI1X5e3MjWvsvvTcT_yuP9RmFfbkpmc_nzuL3Di-76VOJjf9MhELbp7ZtDqM8P4OWEOklIWi8nuHpmtGnSmh8tEfb7bcD593YYL84aQjsnMjL4lwXG7O1oO67lft4mvYq_2R4q-6n6P04LlAg1PziM3kZwhHOJr7" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="339" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj9JDBrt3f4IEVAoxjPHGpCmiVKFI1X5e3MjWvsvvTcT_yuP9RmFfbkpmc_nzuL3Di-76VOJjf9MhELbp7ZtDqM8P4OWEOklIWi8nuHpmtGnSmh8tEfb7bcD593YYL84aQjsnMjL4lwXG7O1oO67lft4mvYq_2R4q-6n6P04LlAg1PziM3kZwhHOJr7=w254-h339" width="254" /></a></div><br />Then we drove to Outrigger Reef Waikiki Beach Resort and checked in. Josh's friend from high school was working bell and we got to see him and talk story everyday, so that was fun. This was the view from our room.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEieBMwyhsGcF12ZvhXHeN-upwUMLWGWtt0FRLB_CUcCaeVkeE6VaytHbkqBWWfnQrJTyLSo1qySA6il-LrmGubSYhjVqumQqC9D9op0tljedrKk1G2RBi0l-MuHAyAdYT6MCpt-biUNZNdIshqSu3XVq25nY6-PLtqARc7Erlhn8IVDd44Zwrbt25S-" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEieBMwyhsGcF12ZvhXHeN-upwUMLWGWtt0FRLB_CUcCaeVkeE6VaytHbkqBWWfnQrJTyLSo1qySA6il-LrmGubSYhjVqumQqC9D9op0tljedrKk1G2RBi0l-MuHAyAdYT6MCpt-biUNZNdIshqSu3XVq25nY6-PLtqARc7Erlhn8IVDd44Zwrbt25S-=w267-h356" width="267" /></a></div><br /><br />We got ready for dinner and then headed out to Eating House 1849 by Roy Yamaguchi. We walked there to save money on parking and at one point a local employee was giving us directions and he said, "Congratulations on whatever!" and I yelled behind me while walking away "12 years of marriage!" and he made the biggest surprised face like he couldn't believe we could be married for that long at our age haha. We got to the International Marketplace exactly at 7:00 which was our reservation time. There was a beautiful and relaxing live performer and the setting was so beautiful.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjfcGPWA8NdWZI93yQKv24M2kWoFCnxn1T2ZgtBEcAriivgwJCFe-OQgJazS7yr-8AwfGqTlZZj1gyK3lB9iDJQCdXf5pH1epbz7I_FVWS26pPqHYJ8X04Kafu1wyans2hp5R2PHxm6epeEtJCyBnJnvz-OhzPaNXckmUGCUSxIkqLs7tk84V5sykum" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjfcGPWA8NdWZI93yQKv24M2kWoFCnxn1T2ZgtBEcAriivgwJCFe-OQgJazS7yr-8AwfGqTlZZj1gyK3lB9iDJQCdXf5pH1epbz7I_FVWS26pPqHYJ8X04Kafu1wyans2hp5R2PHxm6epeEtJCyBnJnvz-OhzPaNXckmUGCUSxIkqLs7tk84V5sykum" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi2T1BB8n-sEX5s0LxF461LjHISjHMdtw4VrkY-kc119qDCZuwczg7IYDDAXIKHWyj9DMPoycIJQPMtA3B-r8YDdR-FvwKmLdQFcTHw5YTlG1myOJLG-O4yuKxaLImMHd_jHi_T0UNA6O5aPLo0cwZ6Nan9TJF8xVpm1I6KRiJSmXMuq3rZQq-dp7cv" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="364" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi2T1BB8n-sEX5s0LxF461LjHISjHMdtw4VrkY-kc119qDCZuwczg7IYDDAXIKHWyj9DMPoycIJQPMtA3B-r8YDdR-FvwKmLdQFcTHw5YTlG1myOJLG-O4yuKxaLImMHd_jHi_T0UNA6O5aPLo0cwZ6Nan9TJF8xVpm1I6KRiJSmXMuq3rZQq-dp7cv=w273-h364" width="273" /></a></div><p></p><p>We walked back to our hotel the long way to do some people watching and sight seeing of the different hotels and got back after 9:00. I asked Josh if we could do a mini photo shoot in the lobby because their newly renovated decorations and furniture were so cool. This was a swing!<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiAHPuK3l53gpvDQerMSGXcEsBZv_DUN9rTe-11uM6NmjE1odJmnjI5Q-QC1Ky_Xw8EOl3oVJJBOGY9Tf78jgw1o0RsWKcCRy6fSD1RGZGTNoUDyrGUEspat05xaYD1S1zk600XZ6GGh6UR9NB5Q3_CrxB3rfgIFwbH92G_oGlgzfZpJm9QPGCJxG2B" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="365" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiAHPuK3l53gpvDQerMSGXcEsBZv_DUN9rTe-11uM6NmjE1odJmnjI5Q-QC1Ky_Xw8EOl3oVJJBOGY9Tf78jgw1o0RsWKcCRy6fSD1RGZGTNoUDyrGUEspat05xaYD1S1zk600XZ6GGh6UR9NB5Q3_CrxB3rfgIFwbH92G_oGlgzfZpJm9QPGCJxG2B=w274-h365" width="274" /></a></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi7_lfoLs8WnuwrLJNQC4Bu4CqmGNu66wLpVsyZGyXs_WI_Yg6tdWI321H_-FRhcCEDNUdrpRbYI27ZkC2x93aTOh41L0ELNWF0zarY-41E3rQNrWhIQvu_fAP4mUNAhEVHEX6_ChkVTsvvo0e2mZzkpoA3OJrE1UF-UefX8Cl3Nrlgd_AFbcN92cgk" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi7_lfoLs8WnuwrLJNQC4Bu4CqmGNu66wLpVsyZGyXs_WI_Yg6tdWI321H_-FRhcCEDNUdrpRbYI27ZkC2x93aTOh41L0ELNWF0zarY-41E3rQNrWhIQvu_fAP4mUNAhEVHEX6_ChkVTsvvo0e2mZzkpoA3OJrE1UF-UefX8Cl3Nrlgd_AFbcN92cgk" width="320" /></a></div><br />We had to wake up super early the next morning and I was so exhausted from the whole day so we knocked out pretty quick.<p></p><p><b>Friday, June 9</b><br />We woke up at 4:30 and we were on the road by 5:30 to go to La'ie to do a temple session. I don't think he and I have done a sunrise drive to the temple since before we had kids, I forgot how beautiful it is!!</p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhaLt7rfpNszJ9F2lfAUJulnTND4pWcj-jOoZNSUHdlcSMgEDLYbR8MgkUXeSLSYpvzrPbJ29R3UNYifzS7aDATAIRo4CFthzgfnseLglpZowjGenCZTgTohF7o75yX6a-Vzr-lB-MZ7tXBOZREYpXuCYGrlQr2Zf1KAfp4oSQy0dn3y-sEoBOoZdoU" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="328" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhaLt7rfpNszJ9F2lfAUJulnTND4pWcj-jOoZNSUHdlcSMgEDLYbR8MgkUXeSLSYpvzrPbJ29R3UNYifzS7aDATAIRo4CFthzgfnseLglpZowjGenCZTgTohF7o75yX6a-Vzr-lB-MZ7tXBOZREYpXuCYGrlQr2Zf1KAfp4oSQy0dn3y-sEoBOoZdoU=w246-h328" width="246" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ka'a'awa</td></tr></tbody></table></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEicbh0bBnbvv6K8sxa0N1gQh9NzX5RqhvPAHEXFMlnaedANk4JraM_ZGt6j__6LGsjrlNweTEOMhU33c_QFu_cGrSukN814ygWMce5QqKxF8pbfzkTCd70P8w0Q4xyNaADVaJKuVZ76wtClH-AIqYUjVW8F2CVz7u29K-nCVSTA7FZpc6VM4OscILw4" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="321" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEicbh0bBnbvv6K8sxa0N1gQh9NzX5RqhvPAHEXFMlnaedANk4JraM_ZGt6j__6LGsjrlNweTEOMhU33c_QFu_cGrSukN814ygWMce5QqKxF8pbfzkTCd70P8w0Q4xyNaADVaJKuVZ76wtClH-AIqYUjVW8F2CVz7u29K-nCVSTA7FZpc6VM4OscILw4=w241-h321" width="241" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kahana Bay</td></tr></tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh4RG88OXJMhnfNnMnffNMuxmNku-BI5siah9d-h6Anq_fYVjofhHQQxwLCdMSnC6h6ithqiK3P0vBewfKvoaV3_ZcKf-WuGrxYqLB5At6diZSTjqj4Qi2-_0OEramTU71KOgi_bA9zIaQoRNqvSyVCfozoTXuKXfF4Xup64MkdofyJeOWyuZIeNNog" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="325" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh4RG88OXJMhnfNnMnffNMuxmNku-BI5siah9d-h6Anq_fYVjofhHQQxwLCdMSnC6h6ithqiK3P0vBewfKvoaV3_ZcKf-WuGrxYqLB5At6diZSTjqj4Qi2-_0OEramTU71KOgi_bA9zIaQoRNqvSyVCfozoTXuKXfF4Xup64MkdofyJeOWyuZIeNNog=w244-h325" width="244" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kahana Bay</td></tr></tbody></table><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgmHTk-KvQy8QV5kSi0FVRNwRmhbe63kYcPvs8T2sDGgsl2bxxQXUBcOIdRTp5UUT5Tp8eaiBgQieon6kylwxkjk7EOMFUcumhOrJhvZ-547ZghBmf9nKKNLgl66Opbw08Bmtz6m7g5HzAleFtBd6Aj1MyjegWvQdkGkpljKd-_dHnM5WZDOB4FGGMv" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgmHTk-KvQy8QV5kSi0FVRNwRmhbe63kYcPvs8T2sDGgsl2bxxQXUBcOIdRTp5UUT5Tp8eaiBgQieon6kylwxkjk7EOMFUcumhOrJhvZ-547ZghBmf9nKKNLgl66Opbw08Bmtz6m7g5HzAleFtBd6Aj1MyjegWvQdkGkpljKd-_dHnM5WZDOB4FGGMv=w250-h333" width="250" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ka'a'awa<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>We arrived at the temple around 6:15 am which was perfect timing because we're supposed to check in by 6:30 am. I should've had someone take our picture at the temple that day but I was focused on being present. As we walked towards the temple doors, hand in hand, I told Josh, "I'm so grateful that after 12 years, we are still coming here together." It's a blessing I know I shouldn't take for granted. Coming to the temple to worship together has strengthened our relationship, and it has guided us and given us comfort in our trials.<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjUR_OWkBuq1fLNI8i5i7EwCjRAuv7KQyoAfZQskkWEWH0dzDt2TaJQZAnxD1FLdiIwaI_d8MCvgYtS50ZDonIPiiHwuhVr9b2MfIRIBIZpAO3tp0Z0VxCEcwYZw0ZCpAfS9r-IAKOJulLSlLxZBqmF7a-5qROdDXJfR2uHuGRML9sFOwkHyk-aJ0cO" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjUR_OWkBuq1fLNI8i5i7EwCjRAuv7KQyoAfZQskkWEWH0dzDt2TaJQZAnxD1FLdiIwaI_d8MCvgYtS50ZDonIPiiHwuhVr9b2MfIRIBIZpAO3tp0Z0VxCEcwYZw0ZCpAfS9r-IAKOJulLSlLxZBqmF7a-5qROdDXJfR2uHuGRML9sFOwkHyk-aJ0cO=w252-h336" width="252" /></a></div><br />It was a beautiful endowment session. We spent much longer than we normally do in the celestial room because for once, we didn't have to rush home to pick up our kids! This was probably one of my most favorite memories from our staycation, was talking and praying together inside the celestial room. We shared with each other the spiritual impressions we received about our individual decisions and our family decisions. I thanked Heavenly Father for that. After the temple, we FaceTimed our kids and none of them cried! That gave me reassurance that I could relax and not worry about them while we were gone.<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgFhCePK0R3_JmzLd-2z_q8YsnsR_eRTAJ4YhxcTpOv17iyYU4zoPtqJ-A03j9p8OkIJNUrPkrB_UgmwQ3t1E1x5vuUliVFEIb7n4JveGqFhnpIDzi3HbBKEm88KfnUfivMpmTeUbPi53QYvFuA0zand5I6eAoepAnyz8apI3eb0KtAkNoV87aDD1-u" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1920" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgFhCePK0R3_JmzLd-2z_q8YsnsR_eRTAJ4YhxcTpOv17iyYU4zoPtqJ-A03j9p8OkIJNUrPkrB_UgmwQ3t1E1x5vuUliVFEIb7n4JveGqFhnpIDzi3HbBKEm88KfnUfivMpmTeUbPi53QYvFuA0zand5I6eAoepAnyz8apI3eb0KtAkNoV87aDD1-u" width="320" /></a><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj7_I81KE-BDB02zjmcbG13Qj_F7CyomxbcSgnAomslPWT4nFE2uFEZNQPAcCcuxnn6jbO-zgMAXfr9iwNR8NnaEzxLeY9QJjcGwHqhWjN7QJf5kIzcI7QH3_DsA26fPHQTIYsZwfMzcQDyqcQBBGewnwzidAS_nhOSgmCX7IwiRQsM2X05AtOf8VE9" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="884" data-original-width="1920" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj7_I81KE-BDB02zjmcbG13Qj_F7CyomxbcSgnAomslPWT4nFE2uFEZNQPAcCcuxnn6jbO-zgMAXfr9iwNR8NnaEzxLeY9QJjcGwHqhWjN7QJf5kIzcI7QH3_DsA26fPHQTIYsZwfMzcQDyqcQBBGewnwzidAS_nhOSgmCX7IwiRQsM2X05AtOf8VE9" width="320" /></a></div><br /></div>Then we got breakfast at Hukilau Cafe and headed to Turtle Bay to surf! Surprisingly there was a north swell and we got so lucky with some head high surf. This is unusual for summer time, and it's funny because the whole time we stayed in Waikiki, the south shore was pretty small. I was a little bit nervous about paddling out in bigger surf on my longboard, but after I caught a couple of waves I got really comfortable and had the best session of our whole weekend. We surfed from about 11:30-1:30.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhryyCqIFo14n5UI3oQvLq_sC9MZScIANmkGq_zJ_GQKgdUCD479LBX7YyvNWMV6i5TwWSQDyp2zUgMCNtFZqIuEU05e8LqtkJT6xbHi2tHsctWslRpEfTb_x5nH5y96HZ2bMkUtYqFouScQYZqMwH_RGK8q6U85HC24CqDYXh09vmgWMwUc8BOzRky" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="3088" data-original-width="2316" height="332" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhryyCqIFo14n5UI3oQvLq_sC9MZScIANmkGq_zJ_GQKgdUCD479LBX7YyvNWMV6i5TwWSQDyp2zUgMCNtFZqIuEU05e8LqtkJT6xbHi2tHsctWslRpEfTb_x5nH5y96HZ2bMkUtYqFouScQYZqMwH_RGK8q6U85HC24CqDYXh09vmgWMwUc8BOzRky=w249-h332" width="249" /></a><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj-VD0gYXXpbp2NretWZQBcLlGK-E1JjkcBb0Mv45Twehxs6wup7gc-_DnpML-JAEK2EahN-J3cwihJGb7wXFjuiAzYAbyuaMmgs73V5D29uM54ldHijubvgNimGvYifR83HWQ8BT9tUbyBJE_iwKwCDJtZ5kSObOrZoMpGtO5OV5bz5mAOhUD1jk7l" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj-VD0gYXXpbp2NretWZQBcLlGK-E1JjkcBb0Mv45Twehxs6wup7gc-_DnpML-JAEK2EahN-J3cwihJGb7wXFjuiAzYAbyuaMmgs73V5D29uM54ldHijubvgNimGvYifR83HWQ8BT9tUbyBJE_iwKwCDJtZ5kSObOrZoMpGtO5OV5bz5mAOhUD1jk7l" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Here's one of my waves - the ending is pretty funny!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwSDygjMlHkmMTaPQwrkcZKslsoBc4zM707ejrZZvm_z6YPBKXYZHJevRnQcwaVaOvMFr1m9mk-z8LheUjazg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />Meanwhile, Josh's parents sent us pics of what they were up to. They took them to Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden and got to see and feed fish!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihzzpOJYbnsXibRB9Ueutt1Ii0kpyDZxB2GYJ3GmYKgLuEY1LZZqrp0GNxiu6ic54aPmWvv8j0Lx4RjJQJBBqkbE-PWFDmZ_PhEVARLxyj-3svMb7UlXTGILjx8bW7bAHU553jd6y58nFc-wR-xGTnD01V8lacCeWAO3NxEJf72-NZMrmcsXczgVQ5" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1537" data-original-width="2049" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihzzpOJYbnsXibRB9Ueutt1Ii0kpyDZxB2GYJ3GmYKgLuEY1LZZqrp0GNxiu6ic54aPmWvv8j0Lx4RjJQJBBqkbE-PWFDmZ_PhEVARLxyj-3svMb7UlXTGILjx8bW7bAHU553jd6y58nFc-wR-xGTnD01V8lacCeWAO3NxEJf72-NZMrmcsXczgVQ5=w373-h280" width="373" /></a><br /><br /></div><br /></div></div><p></p><p>After surfing I really wanted an acai bowl from Angel's ice cream. That was my lunch, haha.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg3NDm3NQYpEHypKIlB-csp03jVo-UYB288nIz7KI056ZWDbYeWXfZs9Lu--QUlh4njOFSc1n2-vjgDBiTiZNxSItC8bJpRbdvpA9bHnILKI-uPza3aRfF-yl-xOmiG8vHldyGdT7OS-xQYGZHGLCGQbCrqO6uXkM4xo_7RLRAfu8yY6w0Q490m_GN9" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2667" data-original-width="1500" height="392" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg3NDm3NQYpEHypKIlB-csp03jVo-UYB288nIz7KI056ZWDbYeWXfZs9Lu--QUlh4njOFSc1n2-vjgDBiTiZNxSItC8bJpRbdvpA9bHnILKI-uPza3aRfF-yl-xOmiG8vHldyGdT7OS-xQYGZHGLCGQbCrqO6uXkM4xo_7RLRAfu8yY6w0Q490m_GN9=w221-h392" width="221" /></a></div><br />Josh drove the hour long trip back to Waikiki and I was totally knocked out for most of it. I'm not used to surfing for that long and in the middle of the hottest time of day anymore. We used to do it all the time in our pre-kid days. I'm gettin old! We got back around 4:30 and I just showered and got ready for my high school reunion/class night. Josh surfed Three's right in front of our hotel to get another quick sesh in and because it only takes him 5 minutes total to get ready. I straightened my hair so that took me almost 1.5 hrs. We had Kani Ka Pila Grille delivered to our room for dinner then left at 7:00 for my reunion at the B-Side Lounge. Josh was nervous about not knowing anybody there but guess what! My classmates were all super friendly and Josh made a connection with almost everybody he talked to ("Where you went HS? Do you know so and so? Das my friend!" was basically every conversation). Josh even knew the guy who was running the 360 Photo Booth because they worked together at the Luana hotel! By the end of the night Josh said he had so much fun. I'm so glad. Beforehand, I promised not to ditch him to go catch up with friends, I included him in every conversation. Past Ari would have not been as thoughtful hahaha. I guess 12 years of marriage helps you to grow.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxiXmoJMlaR0X8LnnP_ESB2pUSJfYS4uu3B9uG93gM1SY2dinSXu-L8issZzIlve7B40jX2KSihbXgUwDMQqw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br /><p></p><p>I got to see a few of my besties like Jeff, Phill, Jasmine, and Tarina. A few people from our group in high school weren't there but we're gonna try get together soon. We did a remake of our picture from senior year except Jasmine and Tarina were standing on opposite sides, oops that's ok. The funny thing is we used to call ourselves LSC - the Lover Stealer Crew. Hahahaha. Teenagers...</p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhRlddLoHX_PzDS-PK03IRADxdCB4pRFtgU_AFzrPhy8hsp0bsB_m69c_CrW3owSVtf8sLXZ5ycuNf9D3rml8m_2uTAJARhC2toz6KFXcWPnqNPGU2yUVI1PPY27C5yqrHmu4xfG4ko8m_wGtDNNN_f5vur9bjTvCy1iNcE4lFRNvUna1sliNEKDPox" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="249" data-original-width="170" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhRlddLoHX_PzDS-PK03IRADxdCB4pRFtgU_AFzrPhy8hsp0bsB_m69c_CrW3owSVtf8sLXZ5ycuNf9D3rml8m_2uTAJARhC2toz6KFXcWPnqNPGU2yUVI1PPY27C5yqrHmu4xfG4ko8m_wGtDNNN_f5vur9bjTvCy1iNcE4lFRNvUna1sliNEKDPox=w210-h307" width="210" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2008</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEifxrA_j5tRmSa8lL_FXdYrIeQhgX5QOP1tfc6H-__H8HcTb48BcnrSewa2W-nV9M6qqA2tY_0EEQsQFdnjXGb6fN1zDXCXX1Y_gNcvg9q5_I42M8w-CqP2bjFpuxEDMf0WyCCKUAF52bDYbrrOrioj0J8L0ignH6h-KAuKrEZ6PppRmvOatOzhqBRO" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="337" data-original-width="388" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEifxrA_j5tRmSa8lL_FXdYrIeQhgX5QOP1tfc6H-__H8HcTb48BcnrSewa2W-nV9M6qqA2tY_0EEQsQFdnjXGb6fN1zDXCXX1Y_gNcvg9q5_I42M8w-CqP2bjFpuxEDMf0WyCCKUAF52bDYbrrOrioj0J8L0ignH6h-KAuKrEZ6PppRmvOatOzhqBRO" width="276" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2008</td></tr></tbody></table><br /></p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiQYil7FrBHG59HZElwWsgNbs09pPM0k_-9VIuWNJ1mEwGIxTiySZh19YL_dPsZn4kkeh89NpHXNKHLDbbMIh1sX0lD5VNANlf2iKi-OcPVporQjuocqUvRhjY_2VjTZ6ThEAFJQ-LyRr0d-shH4a3T7eIqItzDiUaZCw0zhVe2z_VJaiAuIWiNa3Bx" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="323" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiQYil7FrBHG59HZElwWsgNbs09pPM0k_-9VIuWNJ1mEwGIxTiySZh19YL_dPsZn4kkeh89NpHXNKHLDbbMIh1sX0lD5VNANlf2iKi-OcPVporQjuocqUvRhjY_2VjTZ6ThEAFJQ-LyRr0d-shH4a3T7eIqItzDiUaZCw0zhVe2z_VJaiAuIWiNa3Bx=w242-h323" width="242" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2023</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhF_eK488yOGFe6RoWMEDhoMcoTDuwc24hutBizn_zQz_VcsQZkvKs5SlgjcDiT8H31VCsUWuZaWI9sx70rdQJP5J2tGH3wH1hA6yqKok7yrw-blRxk5dMFZrFwtKqeQ8qo_o7Jns2DkMkXS887As6MyICbTsZ8i3s8dhTr0Z4FA9Lex_Fx2DBTK5xT" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhF_eK488yOGFe6RoWMEDhoMcoTDuwc24hutBizn_zQz_VcsQZkvKs5SlgjcDiT8H31VCsUWuZaWI9sx70rdQJP5J2tGH3wH1hA6yqKok7yrw-blRxk5dMFZrFwtKqeQ8qo_o7Jns2DkMkXS887As6MyICbTsZ8i3s8dhTr0Z4FA9Lex_Fx2DBTK5xT=w235-h313" width="235" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2023</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><b>Saturday, June 10 - our actual anniversary!</b><br />Since we did so much the day before, I was pretty wiped out. We ate breakfast in the room and I took a morning nap afterwards haha. Since most of the roads in Waikiki were shut down for the Kamehameha Day Parade, we decided to do some walking and shopping since we had some gift cards. We did watch the parade for a little bit and I even saw someone I knew in the PCC section! After shopping we ate lunch and ran into another friend who was eating at the same place as us. Then we did some more walking and just explored Waikiki a bit.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEitB1FXCkhZH1ZotuN33UX-Z5Mfl6tKAcbRxgr4ok7rwcU_bdANCwy7HtBzVib0vL58dit2mYx1wOdMAXuLqnw-viin9GnO2DQRBKz58EuC0eLqWI7eVyFFIirB6ZdWVj6_xDDNQWIyq-VYYANCv4NvsWb1prcOEnPv3aIWTwwRa123-uDLAVip86j2" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="347" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEitB1FXCkhZH1ZotuN33UX-Z5Mfl6tKAcbRxgr4ok7rwcU_bdANCwy7HtBzVib0vL58dit2mYx1wOdMAXuLqnw-viin9GnO2DQRBKz58EuC0eLqWI7eVyFFIirB6ZdWVj6_xDDNQWIyq-VYYANCv4NvsWb1prcOEnPv3aIWTwwRa123-uDLAVip86j2=w260-h347" width="260" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhrlIzwdYac_twpF1HpxNhbIWLgNnv1vYLTwoeZ3g2I2M1HyBp-B_BzeHVtbNKsO4mlNGvbWOlQ9i56SGHVMZMxH2TIQrCslgPMxiVv4b3i3CDEBXLk0zQJjykXzm5X5e75kN5j2-YVX3AgSQclD5-VBKT21S4B5T8rVt6DYwjAM4tSpy-MmmIfEGR4" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhrlIzwdYac_twpF1HpxNhbIWLgNnv1vYLTwoeZ3g2I2M1HyBp-B_BzeHVtbNKsO4mlNGvbWOlQ9i56SGHVMZMxH2TIQrCslgPMxiVv4b3i3CDEBXLk0zQJjykXzm5X5e75kN5j2-YVX3AgSQclD5-VBKT21S4B5T8rVt6DYwjAM4tSpy-MmmIfEGR4=w267-h356" width="267" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEja9un09p_s36lLUwKBNmYQ00PEJ1SRpqy0sKcMV36VMcUWWpmho25ciQHxMBiZo4yW_KbWb_WuIhJO39f2duKK0ZUUwC4qpUik41yvKYZuqp7N30uUYShyn1CwnB3tuEW3i7koR3bOlde1CQjXvdvf4hb2D0q4oZ4oOWbujUBM7wrDhRE-nW7I3qxc" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="348" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEja9un09p_s36lLUwKBNmYQ00PEJ1SRpqy0sKcMV36VMcUWWpmho25ciQHxMBiZo4yW_KbWb_WuIhJO39f2duKK0ZUUwC4qpUik41yvKYZuqp7N30uUYShyn1CwnB3tuEW3i7koR3bOlde1CQjXvdvf4hb2D0q4oZ4oOWbujUBM7wrDhRE-nW7I3qxc=w261-h348" width="261" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhBrXWBaiC7y1AZ5mcUa498e9rLbwK0MN8g445ImQMqclu8sQS__Te6usbGKpBSvr5NoahZjWBKFrF9bVTiDnSt5trjK2yekX0LN0xGel4oT2sZ2gEDHwcCLSu0wBMf5MdrVauTqPfoe-9__YbF54d_Io3067Me40UjQcQROdIZpX45PhpbWp_3wGUI" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="347" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhBrXWBaiC7y1AZ5mcUa498e9rLbwK0MN8g445ImQMqclu8sQS__Te6usbGKpBSvr5NoahZjWBKFrF9bVTiDnSt5trjK2yekX0LN0xGel4oT2sZ2gEDHwcCLSu0wBMf5MdrVauTqPfoe-9__YbF54d_Io3067Me40UjQcQROdIZpX45PhpbWp_3wGUI=w261-h347" width="261" /></a></div><br />Around 3:00 we finally went surfing at Three's. It was pretty small and windy but still fun, because it was another surf date! We caught a few party waves together and I found one of them on Surfline.<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyFHsSNYyrV7Ufnj_wxrPiFAzIgMNwJWIfwgRLgRhUZJpzL9xoGGYGmRyT3jx1JAHl5-h75HtG6taZszci8SA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />Then we had dinner at 6:15 at Hula Grill Waikiki. Got to eat their amazing house bread, a tomahawk steak, and Hula Pie. The couple on the table next to us was from San Diego, CA and they were also celebrating their anniversary of 34 years! They congratulated us on our 12 years and reminded us that it's a big deal. The wife also caught me about to send a text to our babysitter and she said, "No checking on the kids!! They're fine!" I laughed and put my phone away. They were fun!<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhucB5leXHgGCo9ha9RnAIJ44W6qG08E-pP8C38qyVZu1DAuiq74tKfLESiiDJPFgeAG2h-S3ryk35AAD0myUVwCHahP2-T_KqfIoaOh69xVEEbxGfwIwjVDrPLNQGjD3F5u4ddXwG5my1zFDTkzzyq_UacENB7zT9K3ETg3VK4FbBY9_xEI-NF6PUZ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2532" data-original-width="1170" height="629" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhucB5leXHgGCo9ha9RnAIJ44W6qG08E-pP8C38qyVZu1DAuiq74tKfLESiiDJPFgeAG2h-S3ryk35AAD0myUVwCHahP2-T_KqfIoaOh69xVEEbxGfwIwjVDrPLNQGjD3F5u4ddXwG5my1zFDTkzzyq_UacENB7zT9K3ETg3VK4FbBY9_xEI-NF6PUZ=w291-h629" width="291" /></a></div><br /><b>Sunday, June 11</b><br />We just had breakfast at the hotel, walked to the beach for a little bit, then checked out of our hotel and went home to our babies by 9:00 am. It was an amazing weekend!!! I can't wait to do this again soon.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxE_NmkdzuPVNhadpd9uWyo7rF5qsv8O_dKa9xNfqPsoZFkkNUnDWWokZKXHu8zhBW9dmOEhTxo72PA6vYSeg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br /><p></p>Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-63741430160226443322021-04-18T15:47:00.002-07:002021-04-18T15:54:46.000-07:00Gianna’s Birth Story<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCaNMJT3jDHDGBS8BiTfcDSFTSCGGzywTUVqRAyMwYT3GMIUmSVgrB4A07yuB34We_XMUbSlOXlYWKOc5-PTvS5EGwbDWiLGLaxNlptdBZKYoeaD0hkpGYK1n12shv-Av5JiGIJUW8UAY/s2048/3C11379F-B511-4D6D-82C4-357773CE2705.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCaNMJT3jDHDGBS8BiTfcDSFTSCGGzywTUVqRAyMwYT3GMIUmSVgrB4A07yuB34We_XMUbSlOXlYWKOc5-PTvS5EGwbDWiLGLaxNlptdBZKYoeaD0hkpGYK1n12shv-Av5JiGIJUW8UAY/s320/3C11379F-B511-4D6D-82C4-357773CE2705.jpeg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqmo_8-RrYNQNQlITc_mWPcgWS2UQriEqsxFwROlEZFwCIK50hHtFKkLmj9CbkhjHbVnd9fyyYl3aEs1IQ0gQPVOHMCpCqM8AeRmM1kafqEa_AqdXZBA4xQjWu9tpYwk7soHOC-wewRKI/s1905/4D952143-42DE-4D1B-B124-BB8AF4408A42.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1905" data-original-width="1650" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqmo_8-RrYNQNQlITc_mWPcgWS2UQriEqsxFwROlEZFwCIK50hHtFKkLmj9CbkhjHbVnd9fyyYl3aEs1IQ0gQPVOHMCpCqM8AeRmM1kafqEa_AqdXZBA4xQjWu9tpYwk7soHOC-wewRKI/s320/4D952143-42DE-4D1B-B124-BB8AF4408A42.jpeg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0onMJwOdxZAI503MDjgbrKAs7xLvHCNCWeVKB1HZZtzCOnsWmm3FePuhxzNmTdcImcKS4BnUJZ3JILBlkrn18ObrQDbHHQwpBlzGx9LCH_vKM2NOP4ki_NCYHqM1qcUX5q_Sn2inmd2E/s320/E5884771-B63B-4B08-8194-F9A420D6F3ED.jpeg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim9ZJpGaHOUiTx3ZL7eWyK37cA6oKCZe_yc5l4YnsHhDCJDdlcYayQd1kEo0KCZU-zZwv7y51pFLKEQ0CBQ1mifWv8HpMfLquwzR9nSFpAd-SZRMKXy9N2ngWFPykWT915i27Ct_9-mU0/s1936/F4BAB588-D905-41C1-BD65-4DE7D208929C.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1936" data-original-width="1089" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim9ZJpGaHOUiTx3ZL7eWyK37cA6oKCZe_yc5l4YnsHhDCJDdlcYayQd1kEo0KCZU-zZwv7y51pFLKEQ0CBQ1mifWv8HpMfLquwzR9nSFpAd-SZRMKXy9N2ngWFPykWT915i27Ct_9-mU0/s320/F4BAB588-D905-41C1-BD65-4DE7D208929C.jpeg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaeDgBO6_pcC2heizlPoB1HAa3usYYGXlfAFJK1kc1EdHUfOekkfCuwuegjcLC0CY6P_wl-2_B22NVoZhDugArS2zmrfOmkGKCARSjutQVlSVY2btm99i_lBV90hgypO62nSFnfr4v_uQ/s1440/FE830306-409B-4D90-9BD3-610F9140CEE1.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaeDgBO6_pcC2heizlPoB1HAa3usYYGXlfAFJK1kc1EdHUfOekkfCuwuegjcLC0CY6P_wl-2_B22NVoZhDugArS2zmrfOmkGKCARSjutQVlSVY2btm99i_lBV90hgypO62nSFnfr4v_uQ/s320/FE830306-409B-4D90-9BD3-610F9140CEE1.jpeg" /></a></div><br /> On Monday, March 29 I went to what I was hoping would be my very last prenatal appointment this pregnancy. I was 39 weeks 5 days along and felt more than ready to have this baby. The midwife I saw checked my cervix and said I was still the same as my last appointment - about 2.5-3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. She asked if I wanted a membrane sweep and I said yes! Since I wanted to give birth already but didn’t want to get an induction. Her sweep was more painful than the one I had gotten the week before, and since I was further along in weeks I felt like it would probably work. And I believe it did! Immediately after my appointment I started having super spaced out, but painful contractions. I didn’t want to focus on it or time it since I know my body has long labors. I just continued on with my day and went to hang out with some friends. We had scheduled a play date so our kids could have some fun together. It had been a really long time since we’d gathered like that due to the pandemic. It really lifted my spirits! <p></p><p>I kept randomly contracting throughout the day, and I suggested to Josh that we do some Costco shopping that night. I knew walking around for an hour would help. We had dinner and put the kids to bed and started watching Parks and Rec together. Of course I fell asleep then at 10:30 I woke up to shower and get ready for bed. Immediately after my shower, around 11 pm, I had this burning pain that started in my back and wrapped around to my belly. This was very different so I knew something had changed and labor was starting. From that point, I began contracting every 5-7 min or so. I told Josh I think this is the real deal, so he cleaned up the whole house and packed the car. He was so wired and excited! We called my in-laws to give them a heads up so that they knew to expect a call from us in the middle of the night in case we needed to get to the hospital and we needed them to come stay with the boys at our house. I tried sleeping but would be awakened by contractions. At 2 am I finally told josh to get some sleep because he’s gonna need it for the long haul. I, however, could not sleep. I watched some more Park & Rec and around 5 am went down to the kitchen to make some no-bake lactation cookie balls to take with us to the hospital. When I had my 1st baby, my sister-in-law Shy made these for me and not only were they delicious, they were a lifesaver in between waiting for meals. They’re also good as energy bars. So I made it for myself when I had my 2nd and wanted to continue the tradition for my 3rd. </p><p>We had breakfast together, packed the kids’ backpacks and dropped them off - Napela went to stay with a friend in our ward and Mikala went to preschool. Meanwhile I had been contracting 3-4 min apart for about 7 hours by this point. I thought, I’m for SURE in active labor now! I must be like 5 cm at least! Haha, I was wrong. </p><p>We checked into the hospital at about 8:30 am and the same midwife I had seen for my appointment the day before was there! When she finally checked me, she announced that I was STILL 3 cm and 50% - so 8 hours of contractions and no progress?! That was so disappointing. She said she’d return in an hour to see if my contractions stay regular and help me to progress. When she came back again, she checked me and no change, again. Meanwhile, my contractions were becoming more painful and intense but I could still breathe through them. </p><p>At this point, I was pretty bummed and sure that they were going to send me home. However, the midwife (Luisa) said that there were several contractions that caused baby’s heart rate to go down. If it weren’t for that, she would have sent me home. But she said she wouldn’t feel 100% certain that baby would be okay if she sent us home, so she decided to admit me. I was happy to stay, but worried about baby. But I felt reassured that she and I were in the best care by staying at the hospital under constant monitoring. I have to say though, that the worst part of the admitting process was getting COVID tested. They stuck a swab so far back in my nose that it felt like they hit my brain or something. It was so uncomfortable and somewhat painful.</p><p>To help my labor to be more productive (i.e. actually dilate my cervix) she decided to take a very gentle approach by inserting Cervidil into my cervix which would soften and ripen it more. I was SO grateful to not be put on pitocin or to have to suffer with a foley bulb in me for hours like I did with Napela’s birth. She said the Cervidil could stay in for up to 12 hours but they’d take it out earlier if I didn’t need it anymore. After she left the room, I broke down crying because all these negative thoughts flooded my mind. If it does take an extra 12 hours, that means an even longer wait before I would be able to see my boys again. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, there were no visitors allowed, which means I wouldn’t be seeing my boys until I was discharged after giving birth. </p><p>I also started to think negative thoughts about my body. Why are my labors so slow? Why aren’t my contractions doing anything to help me progress? I probably received like 3 blessings from Josh that day because I was struggling mentally. I had also texted my in-laws and they offered supportive words. </p><p>Thankfully, the Cervidil (and prayers) worked really well! After only 2 hours I progressed to 5 cm 70% effaced, and my contractions were very regular so they removed it and allowed me to get the epidural. I was very exhausted because I hadn’t slept at all the night before and was laboring all day. I got the epidural around 7 pm and was able to sleep a bit. During this time, I didn’t realize my water had broken and without the extra fluid, baby’s heart rate kept dropping again during contractions. The nurse tried adjusting my position (laying on my right side vs my left side) but things didn’t improve. There was also meconium in my water. At this point I became worried that they’d make me deliver via c-section because that’s what happened to my mom when she had Alena. I was so grateful that the new midwife on shift, Connie, didn’t even mention that being a possibility. Instead, her strategy to help baby was to do an amniofusion where they’d push fluids back into my womb to give baby a bit more cushion. I was so grateful she made that decision because it totally worked and baby’s heart rate returned to normal! I slept a bit longer and a little before 11 pm Connie came back to check me. I was 8-9 cm and 90% effaced. She did something new that I’ve never done before. She actually had me do gentle pushes while she manually pushed back that last bit of my cervix that was in the way. It worked and I was fully dilated and effaced and ready to have this baby! She came out in 2 long pushes, and it turned out that her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck 2 times! Connie quickly but gently unwrapped it and then handed me my baby. Seeing the reason for all her heart rate drops made me and josh so emotional. It reminded me of when Napela was born, and Linda showed us the true knot in his cord. Apparently my body makes extra long umbilical cords. I got to see it in its full length this time and I swear it was over 3 ft long. I was overwhelmed with gratitude that Luisa made the choice to admit me instead of sending me home. </p><p>I got to breastfeed her on both sides and bond with her skin to skin for an hour before she got cleaned up and dressed. She was born on March 30, 2021 (one hour before her due date) at 11:03 pm weighing 7 lbs 14 oz and measuring 20” long. </p><p>Gianna Kamāhinahinaākamāhealani Harumi Graham</p><p><br /></p>Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-25796143920244052912020-08-20T15:08:00.003-07:002020-08-20T15:08:56.253-07:00Surprise! Baby Graham #3 <p> Well, just 2 blog posts ago I wrote about Napela's birth story, and here I am writing about the next baby that's about to join our little (growing) family!</p><p>Right before Napela was born, my midwife had asked what my plans were for birth control after I had him. I told her, "Uhhh, nothing." I explained that since I have a history of infertility, and that it took 4.5 years to conceive Mikala, and then 2.5 years to conceive Napela, I would not be using any sort of birth control as I want to make sure my body can conceive a third child. I just assumed that it would take a few years again like it did before. I did acknowledge noticing a pattern that it took less time to conceive the second baby, but again, I thought it would take 1 year or so.</p><p>I was exclusively breastfeeding Napela since the day he was born, so I was kinda peeved when my period came back at 10 weeks postpartum. I also don't lose a ton of weight while breastfeeding like a lot of women do. So all the perks that are supposed to come with breastfeeding (to the mother) don't happen to me. After that first period, I kept getting them every 5 weeks and it was the first time in my whole life to ever have a regular cycle. This should've tipped me off that I was fertile, but again, I didn't want to get my hopes up and was still thinking in the "I'm infertile" mindset. </p><p>My last period that I was supposed to have (before I found out I was pregnant) was due around July 19th or so. A few days passed and I just assumed my body decided to not have regular periods anymore, so I kept waiting until it was a full week late. By then, I was feeling some other symptoms. I didn't want to go a buy a pregnancy test and have the result turn out negative, but I did it anyways. I brought home the test, had dinner, put the kids to bed, and then quietly retreated to the bathroom to take the test.</p><p>I think it was around 9 pm when I finally took it, and it turned into a bright positive right away. I think the first words out of my mouth were along the lines of, "Oh, frick." And then nervous laughter. I washed my hands, then took the test to show Josh. I didn't even say anything, I just walked toward him holding up the test. It was kind of dark in the house and his eyesight isn't too good at night, so he had to really squint and stare at it for a long time. I don't even remember what he said besides, "Wait, are you really pregnant?" And then we just kinda stood there and let it start processing in our minds. So many thoughts were going through my mind...</p><p><i>Napela was only 8 months old, still sooo little!</i></p><p><i>We are in the middle of a freaking pandemic.</i></p><p><i>I had just read Dave Ramsey's book and begun our debt free journey, and having another kid increases expenses.</i></p><p><i>How could this happen if I am still exclusively breastfeeding and he still wakes up at night to feed?</i></p><p><i>Holy crap I didn't think we'd actually have more than 2 kids.</i></p><p>The list of my thoughts goes on...</p><p>Another thing I want to add is that I believe I developed severe anxiety during my pregnancy with Napela, and I had finally made an appointment to see a therapist to help me address issues that I have in regards to my anxiety. Adding another baby to everything just triggered another mild panic attack in me. </p><p>It is crazy to look back and see how drastically times have changed in the last 5 years. I went from praying and hoping for just one little miracle baby to being blessed with not just 1, but 3! I surely don't deserve this miracle, there are so many other women I know who deserve it more. But for some reason Heavenly Father sees fit to bless me with this, right now. </p><p>The next morning I called my doctor's office and they wanted me to come in that day to confirm the pregnancy and start prenatal care. Sure enough, the test turned out positive. They said my estimated due date would be March 20 based on LMP (last menstrual period) but I knew it would be later since my cycles are longer, and I ovulate much later than CD 14. Sure enough, when I got my first ultrasound and they were expecting me to be 8 weeks 4 days, I was actually only 7 weeks along. This makes my actual due date March 31. That was a sucky blow, because I was having such strong nausea from like 5 weeks along and to me they just extended my first trimester by almost 2 weeks, which meant almost 2 more weeks of nausea. Ugh!</p><p>But, I am trying so hard to see this as a blessing and to be grateful. We have several loved ones who have suffered losses over the last year and I would be slapping everybody in the face if I whined and complained about how this wasn't in my plans. I need to go back to the Ari from 5 years ago and think like she thought - "If only I could endure morning sickness, if only I could endure childbirth..." </p><p>I need to have faith in the Lord's plans for us and I need to start preparing my heart to make room to love one more child, because heaven knows how much love I have for my 2 children already. They are going to be so happy to all be reunited earthside and it is going to be so fun watching them grow up together :)</p><p><br /></p>Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-91289133235582154922020-04-02T09:39:00.001-07:002020-04-03T00:39:01.471-07:00Humble Yourself or Be Compelled to Be Humble<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I recently read an entry from mine and Josh's "Spiritual Impressions" journal that we keep together and felt that this one was so important I wanted to post it here, just to give another place for it to be saved hopefully forever so that I can read it again and again:</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-b1f4af16-7fff-796b-3744-d0bb1977d055" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">2/5/20</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Ari</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I learned a very hard and humbling lesson today. While at the beach, Mikala could have drowned. We were at Ko’olina, which is a man-made lagoon and known for its mostly shallow, calm water. I always put Mikala’s floaties on as soon as we arrive at the beach, for his safety. I did this today however halfway through swimming he got cold and wanted to come in, take off his floaties, and sit wrapped up in his towel while he ate some snacks. As he did this, I was nursing Napela who fell asleep. I then put Napela back into his carseat to take a nap, while Mikala decided to run back into the water to play and swim. In my mind, Mikala still had his floaties on so I trusted that he would be safe. He has also had beginner swim lessons so I relied on what he has learned there as well to keep him safe. He was wearing a red rash guard, which was the same color as his floaties. This also made me think he had them on. I began to relax and nonchalantly started eating snacks, occasionally spent time on my phone, and was having a conversation with my sister Amalie while Mikala went out to swim. At some point while I was looking down at my phone, Amalie said, “Ari!! Mikala!” I looked up and saw him struggling to keep his head above water. The instant fear that struck my heart caused me to drop my phone in the sand and sprint down the beach into the water to pull him out. He had walked too far out and it got too deep for him without his floaties. After I pulled him out he started coughing up some of the water he had swallowed and began crying because he was so scared. Once safely on the sand I just hugged him tight even though I was dry and he was soaking wet, I didn’t care. I just kept apologizing to him saying how sorry I was that I wasn’t paying attention to him. After that I decided it was time to go home, especially since it began to rain. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">I have been beating myself up about what happened this entire day, letting my heart ache at what could have happened. What a stupid reason to have almost lost my son, as I was just on Facebook.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Despite these negative feelings and struggling to forgive myself, I am grateful. I am grateful to Heavenly Father that my sister was there and noticed him struggling. I am grateful that I followed a prompting back in July 2019 to enroll my son in swimming lessons so that he could at least fight to stay mostly above water with what basic skills he learned. I am grateful that before this happened, I followed the prompting to encourage Mikala to swim closer to mommy instead of drifting down the beach. This meant I only had to run a short distance to run to his rescue when he started to struggle. If I had let him keep swimming farther down the beach, it would have taken me longer to get to him.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">This experience has caused me to be more grateful for my son. Ever since he turned 3 years old we have been struggling to deal with his tantrums appropriately. Some days are just so frustrating. Today, I didn’t care about how his tantrums might’ve irritated me. I was grateful to hear his voice when he cried, evidence that he was very much alive and still here with us. I was reminded how much I truly truly love my son. I was reminded how much I fasted, cried, and prayed for this sweet spirit, my firstborn son. I was reminded that the tantrums now are so temporary compared to the lifetime of joy he will add to our lives and the eternity of love and happiness. It still might take me awhile to fully forgive myself, but I will not forget the lessons I have learned and I am grateful for this wake up call from heavenly father about what truly matters.</span></div>
Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-68927974620560453232019-12-07T22:07:00.001-08:002020-03-18T10:09:13.617-07:00Napela's Birth StoryIt's been 3 weeks now since I gave birth to our second son and I've been meaning to write this birth story since we first got home from the hospital. Needless to say, adjusting from 1 kid to 2 has been hard! Hence why it has taken me so long to write this down. I finally have a minute to sit down and write this and I should probably be taking a nap while baby is sleeping (hello sleep deprivation, my old friend!) but this is too important to forget.<br />
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I want to quickly preface this story by saying that I suffer from SPD in my pregnancies - symphysis pubis dysfunction. Basically, my body does too good of a job releasing the hormone relaxin to ready itself for birth and my pelvis gets totally unstable and misaligned and causes me so much pain. This time, it started early at 13 weeks and as baby grew and got bigger, the pain also increased.<br />
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By the time I went to my 39 week appointment, I was completely miserable. I had already been waddling for months and some days the pain shot down my left leg and made me unable to walk, because each time I put weight on that leg I felt like collapsing to the ground. I shared this with my midwife at the appointment and she said, you know, you are full-term so you could get induced tomorrow if you wanted to!<br />
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Guilt took over and made me say no, I'll wait until my body goes into labor naturally. Deep down though, I really did want to get induced and have this baby already. I went home and shared my feelings with Josh, who basically told me he'd support me in whatever decision I made. No judgement whatsoever.<br />
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2 days later on November 16 was Josh's 31st birthday! We celebrated the night before by going out to Stripsteak Waikiki, and while at this dinner I had another episode of not being able to walk due to my SPD pain. Josh basically had to carry me from the restaurant from the car. I truly wished I had a wheelchair in that moment. On the morning of his birthday, I was having irregular contractions which I thought might've been true labor, but by the time we finished breakfast it started to slow down and I got REALLY discouraged. During breakfast I told Josh, okay, this is it. I'm going to call Labor & Delivery and ask for that induction. So I did, and they told me to come in anytime we were ready.<br />
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We got home around 10 am and cleaned up the house and got Mikala ready to be picked up by my sister-in-law, Magan. I thought we'd have a much more dramatic and emotional goodbye with him, because the next time we saw him he would no longer be our only baby. However, I was having anxiety about giving birth that day so we basically rushed out the door and gave him a quick hug and kiss and drove off.<br />
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We arrived at Kaiser at 12:30 and got checked in. They checked me and I was STILL only 1-2 cm dilated and 50% effaced, just like I was a week ago. The midwife on duty, Dana, said since I was already having contractions (even though they were irregular) they'd start off gentle. Which I guess meant instead of jumping straight to the Pitocin, they'd insert a Foley bulb to mechanically put pressure on my cervix to dilate me. This made me nervous because my cousin had experience with this and she said it really hurt. It was basically a water balloon that they inserted and then inflated once it was in. She also inserted this pill into my cervix that was meant to ripen and soften it. It was super tiny, so the first attempt the midwife made to insert it, she dropped it on the ground. Then she started laughing and said "This has never happened to me before!" I was like oh great, this is starting off well. But she got a new one and inserted it then I just settled into my uncomfortable hospital bed and waited.<br />
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The midwife told me that the bulb was meant to just get me into active labor, which means 4cm+. She also said that the bulb would just "fall out" once I reached 4 cm and to call her when it did. Ummm that never happened. I contracted and contracted and waited hours and hours as the pain kept getting worse. After 4 hours the nurse came to check on the bulb by gently tugging on it. Since it didn't move, she assumed I hadn't dilated to a 4 yet. I was disappointed but knew inductions typically take a very long time so I wasn't that surprised. Josh and I were alone for a couple of hours and the nurse suggested I take a shower. I'm so glad I did! But afterwards I broke down crying to Josh because I felt like I was selfish to want this elective induction when there was no medical need, I ruined his birthday by making us spend all day inside the hospital room. I was terrified that my selfishness would lead to this baby being delivered via c-section. Not that a c-section is the worst thing that could happen, because all that matters is that our baby joined this world safely. He reassured me and comforted me. I said a prayer and felt better.<br />
<br />
The midwife's shift ended at 8 pm and she let me know that the new midwife starting the next shift would be... Linda Chong-Tim! I was so excited because she did an AMAZING job delivering Mikala. It was such a tender mercy to me because I knew her and totally love her.<br />
<br />
Around 10 pm the contractions got SUPER painful. According to Josh, I started "moo-ing" like a cow with each contraction haha. I had read other women's birth stories and they explained that it felt good to vocalize during contractions and I totally get it now! I couldn't just close my eyes and breathe through them, I HAD to moo with each contraction or I wouldn't be able to manage the pain lol. Linda and the new nurse, Jacinta, heard me and they said umm we're going to check you again because if you're in that much pain you must be progressing. Linda pulled on the Foley bulb cord harder than the other nurse did and it totally popped out! TMI - it was covered in my bloody show. Yes! Progress! Linda then checked me and announced I was at 6 cm. I was so glad I wasn't moo-ing for nothing haha.<br />
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Linda suggested I get the epidural to relax and get some sleep because at that point, I had been laboring for 10 hours. I gratefully accepted. Linda then broke my water to help speed things up. Things got a little scary for a moment because after she broke my water, baby's heart rate dropped for a little bit. However, his heart rate returned to normal. I did get a lot of sleep, but around 4 am my epidural wore off on my right side. It was so horrible! My left side was dead numb and my right side was burning in pain around my back and belly with each contraction. They called the anesthesiologist back and she gave me an extra strong dose of the epidural and it worked, I got some relief. However, it worked a little too well because at 6:30 am when I finally felt pressure (the feeling like you have to poop!) and I knew it was my baby's head finally descending -- meaning it was time to push! I was totally numb from the waist down. My legs were totally dead weight, and I asked my nurse if I was going to be able to push if I couldn't feel anything. I think she reassured me but I can't remember exactly what she said. Linda checked me and said my dilation was complete! I was soo so grateful because I knew she was gonna go home at 8 am when her shift ended and I really wanted her to be the one to deliver my baby.<br />
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It took about 10 minutes for Linda and the nurse to get a bunch of things ready for the delivery and then the pushing began. I was praying that my body would remember what to do because I couldn't feel a thing, and I was so happy when I did my first push and everyone got all excited because his head was already crowning with that push! Must've been muscle memory from my first delivery. They brought over the mirror for me to see my baby with each push just like with Mikala, and I totally saw baby's head! Linda massaged warm oil around my perineum to prevent tearing (which totally worked) and I pushed for 2 more contractions and he was out. Just like she did with Mikala's birth, she asked if I wanted to pull him out and I excitedly said yes I did! So I reached down after the last push and pulled him from under his shoulders and put him on my own chest. At 6:56 am, just 20 minutes after I had woken up from feeling the pressure of his head, he was born. It was so fast compared to when I pushed with Mikala, which took 1 hour.<br />
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While I did skin to skin time with baby, Linda was examining my cord so I could try and donate my cord blood. I noticed a knot in the cord but in my delirious exhausted mind thought that for some reason she tied the knot instead of clamping it. I don't know what I was thinking, haha! Then Linda paused and asked what we were naming our baby. We explained the meaning of all his names and she said this baby is a miracle. Because somehow, he was nourished for months through a cord that had a true knot in it. Josh and I looked at each other and began crying, considering the possibilities of what could've happened to baby with that knot being there. That was a moment that I felt ministering angels surrounding us and I knew he was guarded and protected and brought to us safely through priesthood power. I will never forget that moment. Thinking back to when they broke my water, causing baby to descend further, I'm thinking his heart rate dropped because it may have tightened the knot in the cord. Such a scary thought!<br />
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Last time I gave birth, my family showed up really soon after and Josh didn't get to hold Mikala until after they left. This time was so much different because we got to spend a couple of hours as just us 3 - a mother, father, and their newborn child. After I finished breastfeeding baby for a bit, Josh got to hold him and I took the sweetest photo of the two of them. Josh bonded instantly with him and it was such a sweet moment to witness.<br />
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My recovery with this birth was a little harder than the first because of how bad my SPD pain got. It doesn't help that I labored in a hospital bed for 18 hours, that probably amplified it. I couldn't even get myself up or walk to the bathroom, I needed 2 nurses and this wheelchair thing to move 5 feet to the bathroom. Someone from the physical therapy department came and did a consult with me and suggested I go home with a walker, so I did.<br />
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My in-laws brought Mikala to visit us and baby around 3 pm and my heart was finally whole and full to have both my baby boys with me again. I missed Mikala sooo much, and it hurt to think of him missing us and having to spend his first night without either of us for the first time. I have to give my in-laws a lot of credit because he cried and cried for me that first night we spent in the hospital until he fell asleep. They were very patient and loving with him and I'm so grateful.<br />
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I want to say we had less visitors at the hospital this time, but I'm okay with that because they were all family. The first time, we had a lot of friends visit and it was kind of overwhelming. I was experiencing everything for the first time - childbirth, breastfeeding, anxiety of being responsible for this tiny human all of a sudden - it was a lot to take in. This time, I had a general idea of what to expect so it wasn't as traumatizing or anxiety-inducing. I didn't cry my eyes out when they took him away to be circumcised like I did with Mikala. I was able to get Napela to latch right away because I used techniques the lactation specialists taught me with Mikala. I haven't been stressed out as much about my lack of sleep as I was with Mikala. Basically, Mikala broke me into motherhood pretty good lol. I remember that first night after Mikala was born, he cried for an hour straight while Josh and I tried unsuccessfully to calm him down. Finally we popped a pacifier into his mouth and he fell asleep and I felt my first dose of mom-guilt for introducing a pacifier to him not even 24 hours old. With Napela, he slept peacefully between feedings and I just reveled in the newness and sacredness that comes with a newborn baby.<br />
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After just one night in the hospital when Napela was born, Josh and I were super over being there and wanted to get discharged already. The chair Josh was sleeping on was so uncomfortable he threw out his back and I hate the hospital beds. I felt like I would heal faster at home and we really missed Mikala. So I went in to get induced on 11/16, gave birth on 11/17, went home on 11/18.<br />
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Adjusting to life with 2 has been a whirlwind but not as horribly hard as I imagined it! I'll write a future blog post detailing my first day attempting to run errands with a newborn and a toddler all by myself - it's actually quite hilarious but was totally stressful in the moment haha.<br />
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I am so grateful for our new baby boy - Napela Thomas Banks Kalaniki'eki'e Graham<br />
Born November 17, 2019 at 6:56 am weighing 7 lbs 12.2 oz and measuring 20.5"<br />
It was a great birthday present for my mother-in-law, Claudia, aka GramGraham!<br />
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<br />Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-2757444140503866812018-09-02T20:32:00.004-07:002018-09-02T20:32:56.690-07:00Unconditional LoveI love Sundays. There are so many reasons why I love them. I love my ward. It's my favorite ward we've ever been in, and that's saying something because we moved 6 times in the first 5 years of our marriage. I love my calling. I get to teach the 16-17 year old youth every sunday during the second hour of church. The youth of these Latter-Days truly inspire me and really are on a higher level than generations past. I love getting to know them and I truly love and care for each one of them. Nothing would make me happier than to see each of them serve full-time missions and go to the temple worthily (either for a mission or to be sealed). Another reason I love Sundays is because since it is a day strictly dedicated to the Lord, and to feeding our spirits, we are just so much happier and there's so much inspiration and revelation to be felt and received.<br />
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After church today, Josh and I were just laying on the couch with our son, Mikala, and he did the cutest thing. While cuddling me, he turned his body to face me, took my face in his two little hands, and gave me a big kiss. It was such a tender, ordinary moment that I wanted to capture and save forever. I then had this thought:<br />
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<b>The best thing about becoming a parent is that you finally get to experience what true, unconditional love is.</b><br />
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It's true! You may love your spouse, and I definitely love and am in love with mine, but it's hard to have a perfectly unconditional love between adults. There's such intense emotions, differing opinions, disagreements, and too much knowledge and life experience between two adults that definitely complicates things at times. It's not that we choose not to love each other sometimes, but there are definitely times when we don't express the love as much as it should be expressed at all times.<br />
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<span class="verse-number verse" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", Pahoran, Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Moroni 8:17 "</span><span style="background-color: #fefbbf; color: #333333; font-family: Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", Pahoran, Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 18px;">And I am filled with </span><span style="background-color: #fefbbf; color: #333333; font-family: Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", Pahoran, Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 18px;">charity</span><span style="background-color: #fefbbf; color: #333333; font-family: Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", Pahoran, Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 18px;">, which is everlasting love; wherefore, all children are alike unto me; wherefore, I love little children with a perfect love; and they are all alike and </span><span style="background-color: #fefbbf; color: #333333; font-family: Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", Pahoran, Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 18px;">partakers</span><span style="background-color: #fefbbf; color: #333333; font-family: Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", Pahoran, Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 18px;"> of salvation."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fefbbf; color: #333333; font-family: Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", Pahoran, Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 18px;"><br /></span>
That line, "all children are alike unto me," means that children love as the Savior does. There is no limit, there are no conditions one must meet in order to merit such love.<br />
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In marriage I've experienced romantic love; I have also experienced the type of love that manifests as a genuine concern for my husband's well-being. But pure, untainted, all-encompassing, perfectly-forgiving love? That is hard to attain at times. This type of love is felt from children. No matter how many bad days I have where I feel like a horrible mom, Mikala loves me to no end. He doesn't make it a point to remember the time I lost my patience with him, or disregarded his wants/needs to satisfy my own need for convenience or ease...he simply just loves me.<br /><br />If this is how our Savior loves us, I finally understand how on earth he could have completed the Atonement for us. It all makes sense now.Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-88178531372195867312018-05-14T15:03:00.001-07:002020-04-02T10:17:13.004-07:00My One and Only<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">5/14/18</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-c2796f22-7fff-3ffd-0332-0f33a4ef3568" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">This past Saturday I felt like I reached a personal milestone in my infertility journey.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">Over this last year, I have been hoping to get pregnant again and fell back into the sadness that comes with month after month of failed hopes. It was affecting the way I treated my son...and not in a good way. Not that I was doing anything extremely negative towards him, but I definitely was not appreciating him like I should have been.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">So, on Saturday, I sat on the beach with him in my arms and I was happy and content. He was playing in the sand and being so cute. I realized that it was moments like these that I had dreamed of for years. He was my living miracle. I got what I wanted. I decided right then and there that I was going to start treating him as if he will be my one and only child that I will ever get to carry and bear and love and raise on this earth. If I treat him as if he will be my One and Only, I won't spend days thinking of "what could be." I won't spend my time with him only wishing for more.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">After having that realization, I have felt a tremendous sense of peace and a huge relief of the weight that was on my shoulders. I have spent these last several months tracking my cycle, dieting, guilt-tripping myself with each month that passed, blaming myself for preventing our family from growing... People keep telling me, "He needs a playmate! He needs a sister! He needs a brother!" Believe me, if I was in control, that's what would be happening already. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; white-space: pre;">But maybe God's plan for me is to just have one. Or maybe we will be shocked with another surprise pregnancy, years down the road? Who knows? But, what I do know is that I don't want to wake up one day full of regret for not fully appreciating and taking advantage of each and everyday with my miracle boy that is right here, right now. He deserves ALL of my love, ALL the time. I will no longer be holding back and waiting for more...because he is enough. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Epilogue: I just rediscovered this draft I had written on 5/14/18 and today is 4/2/20. I was blessed with a 2nd surprise pregnancy the following year and gave birth to Mikala's brother on 11/17/19. I am so grateful I wrote down this beautiful entry because it will always remind me to be grateful for Mikala and for both miracles in my life. </i></span></div>
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Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-14525053115775569672018-04-15T13:50:00.002-07:002018-04-15T13:54:30.031-07:00A Wake Up CallDisclaimer: This is going to be a very embarrassing (for me) blog post. I am not writing this to invite judgement or to belittle myself. My hope is that I will remember the lesson I learned today and not make this mistake anymore. Or that if I ever do make this mistake again, I'll be quick to check myself as I remember this day.<br />
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As a teenager, I always looked forward to the day I would become an adult so that I could have more freedom. I felt that my parents were so restrictive and it frustrated me. Of course, now that I am a parent, I understand what their intentions were. However, what I didn't realize when I was a teenager (because what teen would be this observant and wise???) was that once we became adults, with that freedom would come more responsibilities.<br />
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As life tends to be, it has been busy and hectic for us. Josh works an 8-4:30 M-F job with the State of Hawaii, and then on Saturdays he cleans pools half day for extra cash. Sundays are full of meetings and Church calling obligations, and sometimes the days throughout the week are also full of meetings and calling obligations. Needless to say, he is a busy guy. Some days he doesn't even get to see Mikala because Mikala's bed time is around 8pm. I am pretty busy too, but I'd like to focus on Josh for a bit.<br />
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Josh never complains about how many responsibilities he is shouldering. He doesn't ever ask me if he can quit any of them. He doesn't whine about how tired he is (but sometimes he expresses how hungry he is if he hasn't eaten in awhile :P). He just does it all, because he knows what he is doing these things for (or WHO he is doing these things for).<br />
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Yesterday was yet another Saturday where he left before Mikala and I woke up to go clean pools. I'm always a little bummed because Saturday is the one day we could have a family day. On Friday night, Hawaii Kai was hit with torrential rain (sometimes falling at a rate of 4-5 inches per hour) which caused major flooding on the highways and in some residential areas. After he had finished cleaning his pools, he drove past a lady's house that he knew and offered to help. There were men assessing and repairing the property damaged by all the water. He spent a couple of hours helping to clear things out and part of that was ripping out the ruined carpet. Since he normally just wears slippers to clean pools, that's what he had on when he was helping. But he kept slipping, so he took them off and began working barefoot. He ended up stepping on a nail/carpet tack. It was painful, but he didn't bleed significantly so he didn't think much of it.<br />
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This morning he woke up and area where the nail punctured his skin looked bright red, and it was spreading. He showed me and asked about it, and I said, "Yeah, maybe you should go to the ER later or something." I ignorantly didn't think much of it either. Thankfully he followed a prompting to call his Bachan (grandmother) who used to be a nurse. She instructed him to definitely seek medical attention. He mentioned he would probably go later, after church. After proceeding to cook Mikala and I breakfast and wash the dishes (when is he not serving people, I swear??), he took Mikala outside to play. While doing so, the Elders Quorum President called him to give him updates on what to share in Ward Council meeting since he had to work. He happens to be a doctor so at the end of their discussion, Josh mentioned what happened yesterday. He told him he needs to come in to the urgent care he works at and see him IMMEDIATELY. At the very same time, Josh's mom, Claudia tried calling him, but since he was already on the phone she called me. She told me to tell him to seek medical attention IMMEDIATELY. With all of these people confirming how serious his injury could be, he changed into his church clothes and left to go to the urgent care where he received a prescription for medication to hopefully prevent further infection.<br />
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Josh then called me, apologizing for how expensive the meds would be since no Kaiser clinics are open today and he will need to pay for these out-of-pocket.<br />
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Now I'm going to switch gears and share how I have reacted through all of this. This is the embarrassing part.<br />
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I felt so guilty about the fact that he felt the need to apologize to me for spending money on himself to ensure his health and safety, and I realized it's because I'm always harping on him about going over our weekly budget (when really it's me who does this, not him!!) I promptly told him that I don't care how much it costs if it's going to make sure he is healthy and will prevent the infection from spreading. He is more important to me than our budget.<br />
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When Josh called me yesterday to share that he would be staying later than he thought to help out the Sister with her house, I got mad. Yup. I did. The selfish part of me was upset that now we weren't gonna have our family beach surf time that I had wanted in the afternoon. This upset Josh when I expressed my frustration, but he said, "I've been listening to general conference talks all day about how to be a better missionary and I really feel like this is the best way to share the gospel, is to serve others." So he went ahead and did what he knew was right, even if his wife was unhappy about it. I knew I was wrong to feel that way, which made me even more upset...I couldn't let go of the hopes I had to spend our one day a week (or half day) focused just on our little family.<br />
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When Josh came home, he bought me an icee float as a "peace offering" as he called it and I felt better. I apologized but I was still super bummed that I had spent all day at home. He then proceeded to do some much needed work on the house before getting ready to go to a ward activity to support the Young Men at the church building.<br />
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This morning as Josh cooked us breakfast, I was STILL holding onto negative feelings towards Josh about how this weekend turned out for ME...<br />
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I have to tell you that the moment Josh left to go get his foot taken care of at the urgent care, and I googled TETANUS and saw that there is a 10% rate of fatality among people who contract it, and realized how serious this could have been had he and my mother in law and the elders quorum president not been in tune with the spirit to warn him....things could've been so much worse. It hurts me to clearly see how terrible I had been behaving up until now. It was a huge wake up call to be less selfish, to be more loving, to be more patient and understanding, and especially to be more GRATEFUL. Josh could've lost his foot? Or suffered with an illness for months on end all despite his efforts to serve. I truly believe that the reason why Heavenly Father made sure he got the medical attention needed right away was a direct blessing for Josh's desires to serve His children.<br />
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I wish I could say that the way I reacted this weekend was a one time thing. But I do this over and over and over again...I am realizing that it's going to take time and practice and conscious effort to change my ways. I want to be more like Josh. I want to be more like Christ, who never complained about serving others. That is pure love; it is pure charity for others. How often do I do things for others backhandedly, wondering what they will do for me in return? How often do I look for them to praise me when I serve? My only comfort in this situation is knowing of the Atonement -- knowing that as I turn to the Lord and show unto Him my weaknesses, I can have faith that one day they will turn into strengths.Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-4888539554437749502017-12-24T15:57:00.000-08:002017-12-24T16:05:15.700-08:00Christmas Spirit = The Spirit of ChristThis past week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. If I'm being honest, though, sometimes it seems like every week is an emotional one for me 😅<br />
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Yesterday was especially difficult. I woke up to some unpleasant (and actually very mean and hurtful) messages on social media that were directed at me. I almost started crying, but surprisingly, I held it together and just told this person, "Merry Christmas! 💗" There were so many things I could have said, words backed with lots of anger and hurt...but I didn't. Maybe it's because it was Christmas Eve Eve, or maybe it's because I actually made a point to read/listen to a General Conference talk yesterday morning. Whatever the cause, I did my best to "turn the other cheek." I'm still in shock that that happened to me, but Josh made me promise not to talk about it anymore because it makes us both upset, so I'm letting it go.</div>
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So all of that happened in the morning, and Josh was working (on a Saturday) so I was already pretty bummed. I called him and told him about it on my way to a birthday party for a friend's baby boy, and Mikala had a pretty grumpy morning filled with lots of tears and loud crying, which made me even more upset. I got to the party in a foul mood, but decided to just brave being in a social atmosphere by myself. </div>
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I didn't really know too many other people there, so I sat alone (with Mikala). I have to admit, in moments like that, I'm so grateful that I have my little buddy to take everywhere with me. Sometimes it feels inconvenient to tend to his needs 24/7, but the truth is, I absolutely love his company. I love his sweet, happy spirit. I love his cuddles. I love his innocent laughter. I love HIM.<br />
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Anyway, I fed him while I waited for the food line at the party to go down. After he ate enough to be happy, I left our things on our table and carried him to go stand in line for food. I was planning to carry him in one arm and hold my plate in the other arm. I've done that before. As I was about to get my plate, I saw a woman whom I have known since I was born (she's about my mom's age) from church walking towards me with a smile on her face. I smiled back, thinking that that was just her way of saying, "Hi!" from far away.</div>
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She walked straight toward me and then offered to carry Mikala so I could get a plate of food. I tried to give him to her, but he's been so clingy lately and wouldn't let go of me. So instead, she offered to hold my plate for me and serve me food. I'm always ashamed of accepting help from people, probably because of the prideful side of me, worrying that people will think I'm helpless or incapable of doing 12 things at once😁 (really, who's going to be analyzing my multitasking skills??). However, this time, I was so touched by her act of service that I didn't have enough time to think about how to politely refuse help, and she grabbed my plate and started serving me food. </div>
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When we got to the end of the line, she set my plate down in front of my chair and I thanked her. When I sat down, I had to try really hard to fight back tears. After the kind of morning I had had, being attacked on social media, dealing with a sick grumpy baby, and having a husband away working his 6th day that week...being a recipient of such a selfless act completely overwhelmed me and humbled me. (I would find out later that day, as I related this story to Josh, he had actually prayed for angels to minister to me after we had gotten off the phone before the party..she was definitely an angel.)</div>
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That was not the end of the service I received yesterday. </div>
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As soon as I sat down to start eating, the daughter-in-law of the woman who had helped me, sat down in front of me. We've never really talked much at all before, but here she was sitting in front of me. I knew who she was because our families knew each other, but I've never taken the time to have a conversation with her. She said, "So I know this is totally random, but..." She then proceeded to tell me the whole story about how she and her husband had struggled for 11 months to conceive their daughter. She felt so alone in her struggle (because infertility tends to be a private struggle) and was told to read my blog about how Josh and I were able to conceive Mikala. She then decided to try out acupuncture and was able to get pregnant the following month. Something she told me was, "I just wanted to share that with you because you probably didn't think you were helping somebody else when you wrote about your trials, but you helped me." Again, I had to try so hard to fight back tears. Not only did her mother-in-law feel the prompting from the Spirit to administer service to me, but this girl also felt prompted to share something that would cheer me up. </div>
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Even now as I'm writing all of this down, I'm overcome with emotion and gratitude for the love that my Heavenly Father has for me. I'm so imperfect. I can be so selfish at times. I can be so prideful. I can be so, so ungrateful when I complain a lot. And yet, He loves me enough to still comfort me through two sweet spirits.</div>
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The goodness I have felt from this family continued today. We decided to attend my parents' ward instead of ours for church today. It's Christmas Eve and I figured it would be nice to spend more time with my family and to see their Christmas musical program they put together. After church, I found out that the daughter of the woman who first helped me was finally pregnant after maybe 4 years of struggling with infertility. We are about the same age and grew up together, so we know each other very well. This time, I did tear up. I felt so much joy for her, as I know how painful it has been for her (as it was for me) to overcome this trial. Although she did not directly administer service to me in a traditional sense, just knowing what a strong, and faithful woman she is -- one who patiently endured a trial given to her -- I felt joy in my heart knowing that she finally obtained the blessing she so deserves and has been praying for.</div>
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In a matter of 2 days, 3 individuals from 1 family have blessed my life and shared the Spirit of Christ(mas) with me, even though I am so undeserving. I know that is not a coincidence at all. It was as if Heavenly Father was enveloping me in His loving embrace with a quiet, tender reminder that I am loved. Despite my struggles, pains, imperfections, short-comings, and sins...He loves me.</div>
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This is the true Spirit of Christmas: service and making others feel loved.</div>
Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-89913824367330499362017-02-28T12:22:00.002-08:002017-02-28T12:22:53.269-08:00On SelfishnessIt's amazing how drastically your life can change over time -- it could be a few years, a couple of months, or even a split second. You're just plugging along, sometimes just trying to survive the day to day grind, then suddenly you stop and look back at a specified amount of time and you go, "Holy crap! A lot has changed!" It could be within yourself or just events in your life. Here are some examples of moments like that from my life:<br />
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-The year I graduated high school (2008), I had suffered heartbreak twice before meeting Josh and building my relationship with him. So basically, I had 3 boyfriends in one year 😳😲. That's a little embarrassing to admit...as it shows my immaturity..<br />
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-I wrote Josh letters for 2 years while he served his mission in Tampa, Florida, feeling like I had an imaginary boyfriend with him being gone for so long, and then suddenly we were married for eternity 7 months after he returned home. 😍<br />
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-I had a really painful falling out with close friends in Utah while trying to endure the cold winters alone at BYU-Provo and then 2 years later I was a newlywed attending BYU-Hawaii surfing all the time and making new friends.<br />
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-Josh and I struggled with the pain of infertility for 4 years, and then in a matter of 3 months since starting acupuncture and chinese herb treatments, we were pregnant. 😇<br />
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-I was pregnant for 41 weeks then in a split second, the moment Mikala was born, I became a mother. <3<br />
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-I worked as an elementary school teacher for 3 years, then at the end of the 2015-2016 school year, I was a stay at home wife/mommy with no lesson plans, data analysis, or grading to do.<br />
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I could go on and on, but you get the point. Life is always, always changing. It was part of Heavenly Father's plan for us to help us grow and progress! One of those changes listed above that I had been struggling with was becoming a mother. Yes, I know, I KNOW. I wanted this!!! For soooo long I dreamed of just quitting my job and enjoying life loving on my precious baby, becoming a beautiful family! Don't get me wrong, I am eternally grateful for my son for making me a mother and completing our family. However, I did not expect some challenges to come up as a result of getting what I wanted so desperately. The biggest challenge for me after becoming a mom, was my marriage. I guess I should add one more life change to that list:<br />
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-For 5 years Josh and I built and enjoyed a beautiful marriage and family, which was inclusive of just the 2 of us. On 9/14/16, we became a family of 3.<br />
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I thought the equation for our relationships would be as simple as 2 + 1 = 3. But now I am realizing that relationships are NEVER simple, hahaha. Because relationships consist of humans, imperfect humans, with their own preferences, skills, talents, passions, mistakes, etc. So really the equation looked maybe more like this: 1 (Josh, husband, father, Elders Quorum president, intern, full-time graduate student, newly hired full-time state worker, hard-worker) + 1 (Ari, wife, stay-at-home mother, HORMONAL, round the clock milk bag for baby, did I mention hormonal???) + 1 (Mikala, innocent baby who was a bit colicky when first born, but healthy and happy) = my family. That probably didn't make sense to anyone else but me...anyways...<br />
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Simply put. I. became. selfish. Who am I kidding, I was probably already selfish in our marriage before Mikala was born. I can't blame everything on the little guy! But my attitude became worse after he was born. "I've done this all day, I don't get any breaks, I don't get to surf, I am so tired, I, I, I, I,...." What about Josh? Well, he just took on all of his new responsibilities like a CHAMP. And you know what, he was always constantly trying to find ways to serve me and to make me happy, despite my crappy attitude.<br />
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This weekend we kind of hit rock bottom. I was sick so I had stayed home all weekend with baby. I didn't even go to church because I felt so sick. Josh selflessly took the baby with him to church so I could sleep, uninterrupted (and it was GLORIOUS). You would think I would be a cheerful, grateful person after that, right? Well, I'm sad to say I wasn't...in fact I spent the day angry about certain things that were out of my control. I was totally unpleasant to be around, so Josh took the baby to my family's house for dinner without me (because I was having a pity party with myself). While he was gone my head started to clear and I started to see how awful I had been all day. Once I realized that, the first thought I had was: How can I serve Josh and make him happy? So I decided to tackle the huge mountain of laundry that had 2 loads worth of washed but unfolded clothes. When he came home, I said, "This is my way of saying sorry," and he said, "I know."<br />
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Last night we had the talk that kind of turned my attitude around and gave me a big fat slice of humble pie. I HAVE BEEN IN THE WRONG. So I asked if we could talk, and Josh asked, about what? And I said, don't you feel like we're kind of in a slump right now?? And he said...we've been in it for A WHILE NOW. I cried as Josh finally felt comfortable opening up to me about he has been feeling this way, basically how our marriage felt kind of dead as we just "did our thing" everyday. I took care of baby. He worked. He's been trying to serve me to make me happy, but I still acted selfish and ungrateful and unhappy... I have been letting my stress about Mikala affect the way I treat him. The biggest factor was that I completely stopped saying personal prayers. I didn't care about feeding my spirit anymore. I felt like, just because I wasn't doing anything BAD, that I was doing okay. I read something the other day that put things into the perspective I needed:<br />
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"Language matters. Instead of saying, 'I don't have time for that,' try saying, 'That's not a priority right now.' Watch how it changes your motivation to do certain things."<br />
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So I kept saying, I don't have time to go to the temple...I don't have time to read my scriptures...I don't have time to say my prayers... EXCUSES! Really, I was telling myself that temple is not a priority for me, scripture reading is not a priority, and praying isn't important to me right now. How horrible does that sound when you put it that way? And yet, that's exactly the situation. So what was taking up all my time, what WAS my priority? Ummm social media. Texting friends complaining about stuff. Watching Netflix... 😬<br />
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I always felt like the only way my marriage could ever fail is if one of us were ever unfaithful. Yep, that's how naive I have been. But after the talk Josh and I had last night, after making promises to him to be better and to treat him better, to MAKE HIM A PRIORITY, I had the impression from the Holy Ghost: <u style="font-weight: bold;">Selfishness can destroy a marriage.</u> This might seem really obvious to you, but it hit me <b>so hard. </b>I have been so selfish! For years! And yet my wonderful husband has chosen to stay with me, to love me through my selfishness.<br />
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This morning I read Mosiah 19 about a man named Gideon. He sought to slay King Noah for all the evil things he had done, then King Noah asked Gideon to spare him, because he said he was worried about his people dying from the army that had been attacking them. In the scriptures, it said, "And now the king was not so much concerned about his people as he was about his own life; nevertheless, Gideon did spare his life." King Noah was being selfish. In the end, most of his people were spared and taken captive, but Gideon ended up slaying him anyways later on. It's ironic because the idea behind selfishness is that you are only looking out for yourself, to be happy and protected. But just as King Noah died anyway, if I continue to be selfish in my marriage I could destroy it, as well as destroy myself, in a sense, because my marriage is one of the greatest sources of happiness in my life. It may sound dramatic and exaggerated, but I'm afraid that if I don't think in extreme terms then I might not be motivated to change myself.<br />
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I found my journal from my sophomore year of college at BYU-Provo. I was enrolled in a Doctrine & Covenants class in which the professor required us to write in our journal daily in tandem with reading scriptures daily. I was at a spiritual high in my life and it naturally made me more loving towards others and want to serve them. That's how I need to treat my husband. I need to get back to that. I need to learn to be more selfless. It goes against who I've been for a long time, but I know with practice, the Lord will help us to strengthen our marriage so that we may attain true joy, which will in turn bring joy to our son, whom we love so much.<br />
<br />Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-78128985845126199942016-10-10T13:46:00.000-07:002016-10-10T13:46:00.554-07:001 Month of MotherhoodIt has almost been one month since Mikala was born, which means I have been a mother for almost one month. I don't even know how to accurately describe all the emotions I have felt since Sept. 14, but I'm going to try.<br />
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The biggest thing I have learned, is that the learning curve to parenthood is a steep one and it's a never ending cycle of learning! Here are the biggest things I have learned this month:<br />
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<li><b>Breastfeeding</b>. While I was pregnant, I was sooo determined to exclusively breastfeed my son when he was born. I had heard about some of the struggles I may encounter from family and friends, mostly about the physical pain associated with it. What I had not heard about was the emotional struggles I would be facing! On the day he was born, he did really well with his sucking and I thought I had him latched as well. I just thought, well that's nice, this came naturally for both of us. Um, WRONG. On the second night, I couldn't get him to latch. He had been sleeping for SOOO LONG (another thing I learned, newborns tend to be really alert right after birth and then reeeeally sleeping in the days following) that I was worried he was starving. So I kept trying to wake him up to eat but he just wouldn't wake up! Then when he finally did, he cried. And cried. He was inconsolable. I would put him up to my breast and he would just scream at my nipple, which then made me cry. I was trying so hard to feed and nourish my son, but he wouldn't feed! This went on for about two hours and around 4 am Josh and I just looked at each other like, "What did we just get ourselves into?!" I had packed a pacifier in our hospital bag just in case we needed it, and finally I gave in and stuck it in his mouth. He eventually calmed down and went back to sleep. At 6 am, the doctor came in to have us sign consent forms for him to be circumcised, since we had originally agreed to it. I broke down and started crying because I was afraid he would go through this painful procedure and the doctors would bring him back screaming, and I wouldn't be able to console him because he wouldn't nurse the night before. After some debating, we stuck to our plan to have him circumcised and after they wheeled him away and Josh and I were alone in the room, I just collapsed into his arms and began sobbing. Josh comforted me and reassured me that I wasn't a bad mom for struggling with feeding him, but also to not give up. Our nurse was so kind and let us stay the whole day so we could work with the lactation consultant. Originally we were supposed to be discharged at 11 am, but we got to check out at 8 pm instead. The lactation consultant was my personal savior that day. She taught me little tricks to get him to latch and told me that I'm not the only one learning how to breastfeed, baby is too. After that day, it has been smooth sailing ever since and baby is gaining weight really well. I am so grateful I didn't give up. I'm proud that I learned how to breastfeed.</li>
<li><b>Sleep</b>. Oh that beautiful thing that I miss having in my life! The first week at home was rough. After that I quickly learned that I needed to take at least 1-2 naps during the day when Mikala was napping in order to get through those multiple late night/early morning feedings. I also learned that some babies need help in falling asleep. Some newborns just sleep like rocks. Not our little active guy. The room has to be darkened at least a little bit, he HAS to be swaddled, and sometimes he needs to be held and rocked to sleep for his naps during the day. If he's awake for longer than 1-2 hours, he gets over tired, overstimulated, and incredibly fussy. Then I do the "try everything" method of getting him to sleep, which only stimulates him more, then by some miracle he eventually falls asleep. And while he sleeps, a lot of times he's grunting every 5 seconds and I think he's waking up. But he does this for sometimes an hour straight! In his sleep! If he doesn't get several naps throughout the day, then evenings are just terrible for us. So I learned to make sure he gets lots of good naps during the day.</li>
<li><b>My husband/marriage still comes first. </b>When I was pregnant, I was given a series of books called Babywise. One of the first things it teaches you has nothing to do with babies, it is that you still need to put your marriage first to keep it strong. Babies thrive when they know they are in a safe, secure, and loving environment provided by a strong, loving marriage. When I read this I was like, duh! I was taught this from a child thanks to being a member of the LDS church. However, once baby was born and I was overwhelmed with all the things I needed to do to take care of him, I am sad to say that I quickly forgot about Josh. But he didn't forget about me at all. In fact, he has been serving me equally as much, if not more, as he takes care of baby. The books warn against child-centered parenting, wherein the child always comes first and the spouse second. Once either spouse begins neglecting the other, there is a breakdown in the strong foundation provided to care and provide for the child. I am glad my husband lovingly reminded me that he needs attention and love and care from me still. Just because baby was born, doesn't mean his needs have suddenly disappeared. It's ironic because I was always the needy one. In fact I reminded him that I'm the one who had to chase him down and get him to like me before we started dating, hahaha. I truly and deeply love my husband, and learned that I need to continue working on putting him first and not losing our identity as a couple.</li>
<li><b>Feeding my spirit will take twice as much work as before.</b> I'm about to make myself very vulnerable here as I share my inner struggles of keeping myself spiritually strong. I tend to care too much about what other people think of me, so I fear being judged by others. But more often than not, I know people aren't passing judgement on me. And if they are, so what? What's the worst that can happen? Anyway...after birth, recovery can be hard. You're super sore down there and you're bleeding and just physically and emotionally exhausted from lack of sleep as you adjust to a newborn's schedule. I learned that I need to make time to feed my spirit. When baby takes naps throughout the day maybe I can rest for one nap, but the next one say a good prayer or read a General Conference talk or read my scriptures. I learned that just because I had a baby doesn't mean I can or should stop looking for ways to serve others, serve in my calling, etc. I learned that although it may seem like a hassle and be uncomfortable at first, making the efforts to wear my garments again now that I have recovered will be worth it. I learned that every little effort I make to show my Heavenly Father that I have not forgotten Him is worth it. I learned that every prayer needs to include many words of gratitude to keep my mind positive at all times.</li>
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In my next post, I'll try to make it all about baby and his developments. I need to close this post now because I hear some wiggling and farting going on in his crib, so it's time to go tend to his needs...haha. Gotta love being a new mom.</div>
Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-17933164958448802792016-09-21T11:43:00.002-07:002016-09-21T12:00:11.628-07:00Mikala's Birth StoryOur son, Mikala Kamea'oli Keali'ikumalama Young Gun Graham was born on Wed. Sept. 14, 2016 at 6:35 pm. He weighed 7 lbs 10.8 oz and was 20.5 inches long. <br />
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Despite my struggles to conceive my baby, I was blessed with a very normal, healthy pregnancy. There was a little scare in the beginning when doctors found a small subchorionic hematoma at my 8 week ultrasound. Basically I had a bit of internal bleeding during the implantation phase of pregnancy. They said it could increase my chances of miscarriage should it continue to bleed, but also said many many women go on to have normal, healthy pregnancies. I was truly blessed to be one of those women.<br />
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Before I begin, I just want to say that my whole life up until now, I was completely terrified of childbirth. I mean there was even one point when I was struggling with infertility that I had the passing thought of, "At least I probably won't have to endure the pain of childbirth.." And yeah, it is a crazy experience and yes, pain is involved. But I truly believe that the mind has power over this, and you can overcome any fear of childbirth with focused, positive thinking! My fear of childbirth has been replaced with a feeling of amazement at what the body can do and just the sacredness of the whole experience.<br />
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The night before my due date (Sept. 7) Josh and I decided to go out to a really fancy restaurant as kind of our last hurrah as a couple before we became a family of 3. We went to 53 by the Sea thanks to my mom for buying us a gift card for that place. We felt totally out of place because we are usually acting/looking pretty goofy and laidback, but this restaurant was the type where you felt like people were judging you or would want to kick you out if you showed up in a t-shirt, shorts, and slippers haha. It was fun though! We pretended to be able to afford eating at a place like that, we felt fancy. We actually both cracked a lot of jokes about being all proper and fancy. Another funny thing was we showed up to the restaurant in our Scion, which is a 10-year old car that has definitely seen better days and was covered in bird doodoo....I wonder what the valet guy was thinking when we pulled up...like are these people lost?!<br />
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Anyway, getting back on track here. During dinner I started having some painful contractions. I ignored it because I was trying to savor every moment of this special date with my husband, and every bite of this very expensive but very delicious food. When we were driving home, the bumpy potholey roads of town made my contractions hurt even worse and they were coming every 5 minutes. We both got excited thinking, this is it!!! Little did we know, it most definitely was NOT it and wouldn't be for a whole extra week...<br />
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Everyday from my 40 week mark to my 41 week mark was full of regular and irregular painful contractions. There were many days I seriously considered telling Josh, "Let's go!" but something always told me, wait a little longer to see if the contractions get worse...and sure enough, every time, they would start to space apart and eventually stop. I was so frustrated! I Googled so many things throughout that week and discovered something called Prodromal Labor. It was terrible experiencing that. But I kept trying to reassure myself that if my body is spending so much time "practicing" for labor and delivery, things should go smoothly when the "real" day actually arrives.<br />
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On Tuesday, Sept. 13 I had an appointment to do non-stress testing. Basically, once you pass your due date, doctors want to monitor you and baby to make sure the placenta is still doing its job in taking care of baby. I was strapped up to 2 monitors, one to measure any contractions I might've had and one to measure fetal heartrate. His heart rate was supposed to speed up a little during movement or contractions and it did, so he passed. However, when they did an ultrasound to check amniotic fluid levels, they only measured a 4. Normal fluid levels are supposed to be between 8-20, so it was definitely low. The doctor on duty told me, it's not an emergency, but it is cause for concern so you have two doors you can choose from here. Option A is get induced TODAY, or Option B, wait another day and check tomorrow to see if fluid levels went up. Of course, I chose induction. I felt baby was ready to be born and I was worried about the fluid levels thing. So we scheduled it for 8 pm that night.<br />
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I was texting Josh during that appointment and when I told him I was going to be induced, he thought I meant RIGHT NOW!! So he rushed over to the hospital and I was walking out with my papers in hand for instructions on the induction, and he was surprised we were leaving. So we went home around 1 and got to spend time resting and calmly getting things ready for the hospital. I was feeling really nervous and kind of guilty that I was being induced. However, that morning I distinctly remember waking up and getting the strong impression that I would be having the baby today. It felt right.<br />
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We had our "last supper" with our good friends Mark & Megan Serrao at CPK to support their son's fundraiser for his preschool. Here was my last date night outfit and last baby bump pic of my pregnancy before dinner at 40 weeks 6 days pregnant:<br />
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It was really fun! As we ate, again I was having painful contractions, but after a week of this I just ignored it and assumed it was my body "practicing" again. The drive to the hospital was really peaceful, not at all how I expected or how the movies make it seem with all the hurrying and stress. I guess that is one pro to getting induced. We showed up to the hospital for my induction, but when they strapped me to all the monitors, they said I was already in labor! I was 4 cm dilated and 50% effaced. No need for induction! Yay!<br />
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My midwife was Linda Chong-Tim and she was completely amazing. Around 1 am my contractions began to space apart just a little, so they gave me a tiny dose of Pitocin to augment my labor. Those contractions were painful! But I got through them by controlling my breathing, telling myself positive affirmations given to me by my friend Suzie Bell, and I also bounced on the big yoga ball. That helped a ton with my terrible back labor. I tried to handle those contractions for another hour and a half before I got exhausted and said, okay, if I'm going to get any sleep at all to save energy for the pushing stage, I'm gonna need to get the epidural. Once I got it I was in heaven (Josh said I started acting loopy and kept smiling) and slept while I labored for the next 12 hours or so, waiting to be fully dilated and ready to push. It was a slow process! Each time I was woken up by being able to feel a contraction due to the epidural starting to wear off, I pushed the magic button to add another dosage and fell back asleep. Finally, my water broke on its own and a few hours later the midwife checked me and said I was 9 cm and 100% effaced. Finally! At this point, the nurse recommended I stop pushing the magic button, to which I got a little nervous about the idea of feeling my childbirth. But I listened, and some sensation and feeling started to come back in my legs and on my belly.<br />
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At 5:30 the pushing began, and at first I had a hard time figuring it out. Then the midwife suggested we use the squat bar with a towel tied to the bar so I could pull on it during each push, like a tug of war. So I rested my legs on each side of the bar while Josh supported my neck and head and encouraged me with each push. He was such an amazing coach, it came so naturally to him. This worked really well for me and we progressed really quickly. I was grateful that the midwife let me pace out the pushing on my own, she didn't control when I pushed, she just said, "Let us know when you feel a contraction starting and we will all support you!" In between pushes, the nurse, midwife, and Josh were all talking and having a conversation nonchalantly, as if I wasn't in the middle of giving birth. This actually helped to keep me calm. She asked if Josh and I met at school and he told her I went to Kamehameha, then we made the connection that her daughter was my team mate in cross country, and her husband was my coach! What a small world! At one point, the midwife brought out the mirror and said sometimes this helps! At first I was like ew! I don't want to see that! But she wheeled it out anyway and as soon as I looked at the mirror I saw my baby's head and just melted. I could even feel the baby's head! I had a new surge of energy and motivation knowing he was so close. I did a few more big hard pushes and as his head was almost out the midwife told me to now do short, slower pushes to ease him out so that I wouldn't tear. That was the most painful part, because the biggest part of his head was crowning and I had to just deal with the pain and resist the temptation to just force him out with one big push to end my pain! This is the only part where I got kind of loud haha, it hurt! His head and shoulders came out and to my surprise she said, "Okay now reach down and grab your baby!" So I scooped him up and out and onto my chest and just broke down crying saying over and over, "My baby, my sweet baby!" Josh cried with me as we cherished those first moments meeting our son we waited so long for.<br />
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Mikala started coughing up some amniotic fluid (so that's where all my fluid went, he was drinking it all!) and immediately began crying. Boy was his cry strong and loud! Then we took this pic documenting how pissed off he was at the world for being forced out of his snug, warm home:<br />
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I really wanted to donate some cord blood, but I guess because my placenta was starting to give out, there wasn't much to give and I didn't have enough to meet the donation requirement. That's okay though. Then Josh cut the cord.</div>
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I barely had an hour of skin to skin time with my baby before my family showed up. They were super excited I guess...my brother even showed up to the hospital in the middle of me pushing so he had to wait outside awhile. Like I said, my family was SUPER excited hahaha. Finally the nurse weighed him. Here he is, still pissed off at the world hehe. All joking aside, I think he cried so much when he first came out because his head was a little swollen and it probably hurt him :(.</div>
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Because my family got there so soon and all wanted to hold him, Josh didn't get to hold him until they all left and he was feeling kind of disconnected to baby, after all I'm the one who carried baby for 9 months and got the immediate bonding time for an hour after he was born. So I suggested he take off his shirt and hold baby against his skin and he said he immediately felt better. It was so adorable watching the two of them.<br />
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Mikala is officially one week old today, and it has been a crazy ride of utter happiness and overwhelming stress since he was born. Nobody tells you how LITTLE sleep you get in the hospital, due to the nurses CONSTANTLY checking on you and baby and wanting to take him away for vaccinations and tests...I cried a lot in the hospital hahaha. Sleep deprivation is real. But we survived the first week! And each day gets just a little easier and a whole lot better. I'm recovering really quickly and I almost feel back to normal. I can't wait to continue to watch baby Mikala grow. We love this little miracle so very much.<br />
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(This pic was taken after zero sleep and crying a lot! But I'm posting it because it shows the true, raw emotions of being brand new parents.)</div>
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<br />Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-54365590755347125752016-06-12T17:03:00.001-07:002016-06-12T17:12:14.603-07:00Pregnancy Journal: Part IWow, the last time I blogged about being pregnant, I was just barely announcing it at 10 1/2 weeks! Pregnancy is all I constantly think about, and with my excitement to meet our little one, sometimes I feel like it is going by so slowly. But right now, it feels like it is flying! Before this pregnancy experience passes me by, I want to make sure I document all the wonderful memories we have made so far. I don't know if this will be my one and only pregnancy, or even when my next one could be. It's all up to my body (and the Lord)! This might be a long one, because I'm a very detail-oriented person (I get that from my dad!!)...so bear with me...<br />
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<b><u>PART I: Finding Out - Saturday, January 16, 2016 (6 weeks, 3 days pregnant)</u></b><br />
My period was over 2 weeks late by this point, and this was the first month in a long time I didn't suspect anything. I was trying to not think about trying to get pregnant for once! I was just late, as usual! My body likes to do things randomly, on its own schedule. I waited, and waited, and kept telling myself it's coming, and I absolutely refused to take a test. However, I started feeling slight waves of nausea whenever I went too long without eating, and I thought that was super weird. So on Friday night, I put a pregnancy test on the bathroom counter and thought, what the heck, I'll just take this in the morning. 4 am rolls around and I wake up because I HAVE TO PEE SO FREAKING BADLY. This never happens to me. I blindly stumble to the bathroom and literally took the test with my eyes closed, hahaha. Honestly, it's amazing I didn't miss. Welp, I opened my eyes, and I didn't even need to wait for a result because the line was SO FREAKING DARK! I took this photo at exactly 4:05 am:<br />
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My tired eyes suddenly got HUGE, I couldn't believe it! I started feeling breathless and my heart started racing and I just stared at that test for a good five minutes in disbelief as tears welled up in my eyes. For a split second, in my drowsy 4 am stupor I wondered if I was dreaming. Nope, this was real. Next thought: WAKE UP JOSH! Don't worry guys, I washed my hands and everything first. I ran out, no glasses on or contacts in, so I was still pretty blind... I yelled, "Josh!" He jumped up and said, "What-what-what?!!" So I just said, "I'm pregnant!!!" Take a guess at this guy's response. You would think he would hug me or at least say something other than, "I don't believe you." Yup, that's what he said!! Thinking back, I can see why he said that... we've both been through 4 years of disappointment, it's just a defense mechanism to protect himself from getting hurt. So I showed him the test and I kept crying and shaking. He stared for a good long while...still in disbelief. It was too early to tell anyone from home, so I sent this picture to 2 of my close friends who lived in the mainland and thank goodness they were awake to freak out with me! I didn't go back to sleep obviously... At around 6 we got ready for the day and decided to eat breakfast at Anna Miller's. We then went surfing and I had to resist the urge to tell every single surfer I paddled by that I was pregnant. Before getting lunch, we bought another box of pregnancy tests because Josh was still acting like I wasn't pregnant...which kind of annoyed me, but again, defense mechanism! I took this test in the bathroom at Pono Plates in Pearl City...small kine shame haha.</div>
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Seeing this result made me scared that maybe I had a false positive earlier that morning, the test I took was kind of old... Until I realized that the line on the right is the CONTROL, and the line on the left is the TEST line. My HCG levels were so high by this point that it took all the dye inside the test and didn't leave any for the control line! After showing Josh this test, and explaining to him why one line is so light, his eyes got huge and he started laughing and saying, "Oh my gosh!!! What the heck??? How??!! This doesn't even make sense!!!" Finally, I got the reaction I was hoping for. After lunch, we went to Babies R Us because it's right by Pono Plates and I bought a couple of things to announce it to my parents at their house. There was a pair of tiny baby booties, and a bib that said What Happens at Grandma's House, Stays at Grandma's House. I told my mom it was a belated birthday gift for her. As soon as she opened the present, she jumped up and screamed because she got it right away. My DAD on the other hand.... oh my goodness haha. It took him several minutes to get why I got her baby stuff. Once he finally understood, he hugged me and just said, "This is so wonderful Ari, we've been praying for you and Josh!" Even as I write that right now it's making me tear up a little, because I <i>knew</i> how many people have been praying for us for so long, and I am immensely grateful!</div>
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The next day (Sunday) we had family dinner at my parents house, so I announced it to my siblings by volunteering to say the prayer to bless the food. At the end I tried to subtly add in the line, "And please bless that everything goes well with my pregnancy, inthenameofjesuschristamen." I literally said the closing so fast because I didn't know how they would all react! It was fun, I got lots of hugs. The following week, my brother in law Nick took a work trip to New Orleans and got me this onesie (my first official baby gift!):</div>
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It made me feel so loved to know that our family was excited for us. On Monday, we announced it to Josh's side of the family as it was a holiday and we were having a BBQ to celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I then got to have fun calling the cousins on the Ho and Graham side. </div>
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Each time I told another person I was expecting, I loved experiencing all the same feelings of excitement. So I spread out who I told over the following weeks. And there you have it! That's how we found out about our little miracle, Baby Graham. :)</div>
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Stay tuned for Part II next time, I'm going to write about the first ultrasound!</div>
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<b><u><br /></u></b>Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-18252571989876667822016-03-07T19:42:00.000-08:002016-03-07T19:42:36.057-08:00Grampa Young - 5 YearsToday started like any other normal day. Just imagine your usual routine of running around to get ready to go to your full time job. All day at work was hectic as it usually is moving from one lesson to another and to another, all while trying to herd cats (aka nearly 30 students). Right when the bell rang I rushed around my classroom to prep for tomorrow's lessons then ran out the door to drive all over tarnation running errands.<br />
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On one errand I had to stop at my mom's house and as I was trying to run back out the door 5 seconds after running IN through the door, she stopped me and said, "Can you do me a favor? Can you go to grampa's grave and put flowers there?" For a second I thought it was his birthday but then she said, "Today marks 5 years since he passed away."<br />
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It added yet another errand to my already growing list but this was something I willingly did. I made it my last stop on my way home. I don't even know how long it's been since I've visited my grandparents graves but somehow, my intuition guided me right to their graves in the middle of a gigantic field of graves. It was such a nice, serene way to end a day full of chaos and hustling and bustling.<br />
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It gave me some great perspective. I am a worry wart. There are sooo many things I worry about from the big to the little things. But my grandparents have passed from this busy life and are now resting from their labors of this earth. I know I will join them someday and it made me realize, "Why does it matter so much if only 70% of my students are attaining proficiency in Reading or Math? Why does it matter if my lessons were not perfect today? I am doing the best I can with the resources and the time that I have. I mess up a lot but I don't give up on trying to be great. I think I'm making my grandparents proud.<br />
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5 years ago I was so excited and engaged to be married when my Grampa passed away 6 days before my birthday. It put a damper on things but I felt his presence in the sealing room when I was married in the temple 3 months later. Families are forever.<br />
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I love you Grampa. Thanks for being such a great example to me. Happy 5 years.<br />
<br />Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-30341766921198553052016-02-14T18:33:00.000-08:002016-02-14T18:33:10.969-08:00MiraclesWhere do I even begin? I've been dreaming about this day, this life I am living right now for so long. What do you do when one of your dreams come true? You blog about it, of course.<br />
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Many of you know that Josh and I have struggled with the trial of infertility for the last 4 years. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) in 2012 and it has been a rollercoaster ever since. While I know there are many out there who have struggled longer than I have, or are still struggling, or still wonder if they will ever become mothers, it is not possible to compare one woman's journey with another's. There is no such thing as "my pain is greater than your pain." I like to use the analogy that I may have a broken arm while you have a broken leg. We suffer differently, but we still feel pain. And in the world of infertility, just having that common pain with another brings a little bit of comfort to know that you are not alone. I was not alone. I have met countless women who are full of faith and strength and I would not have met them and learned from them if I had kept my struggle a secret.<br />
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Let me break down some numbers for you about my journey:<br />
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8 Clomid cycles<br />
2 Letrozole cycles<br />
2 failed IUI's<br />
5 OB/GYN doctors<br />
1 reproductive endocrinologist<br />
29 blood tests<br />
2 semen analyses (Josh)<br />
1 HSG procedure<br />
1 month of dieting<br />
3 months of acupuncture and Chinese herbs<br />
6 months of chiropractic<br />
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All of that adds up to thousands of dollars spent, sometimes causing us to go into debt.<br />
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43 months of:<br />
negative pregnancy tests, painful menstrual cycles, disappointment, shattered hope, feeling forsaken by God, struggling with my faith, nights of crying myself to sleep, painful pregnancy announcements from people whom I loved (and maybe even from some people I didn't like), emptiness in my arms and in my heart, feeling like we were an incomplete family, etc.<br />
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I write all of this down not to brag or whine, but to say that this was the price I paid for my little blessing that I am carrying. All of that was worth this moment right now, and the moments that continue to happen for us as we experience this pregnancy together because let's face it, whatever the mother of the child experiences, the father experiences it too by default haha.<br />
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I feel so guilty announcing to the world that we are expecting. Only because I have been on the other side for so long, wishing it was me. No matter WHO it was or how much I loved them, it still stung to hear of another pregnancy announcement. It has strained my relationships with people as I struggled to balance my own suffering with the love I wanted to express to them. If you are one right now, reading my blog, and feel this...know that I am so sorry and I love you. You are definitely allowed to feel bitter or sad. That is your right. Take the time to feel it, because trying to ignore it or pretend that pain is not there will only be worse for you in the end. But also, move on from it. Say a prayer, decide to have faith, and tell yourself that you are loved and your time will come when it is right. There's no medical explanation for why I am pregnant right now. I got pregnant, not from a procedure or any fertility drugs, but by a miracle. I have a testimony that this was just when I was mean to conceive. For so long, I tried to force God's hand. I don't regret any of the efforts I took to fight for my baby, but I also wish my attitude had been better. I know that the Lord blesses us when he knows is the perfect time for us in His plan for our lives. <br />
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I look back and see all the wonderful blessings Josh and I have experience because we were <i>gifted</i> with time. Yes, we struggled for 4 years, but we have had 4 years of love, of joy, of being bonded closer than I ever could have imagined. We both got to finish our degrees, begin careers, have many many many date nights and surf sessions together. We have had 4 beautiful years, and now that beauty will only be added upon.<br />
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I guess my purpose in writing this was twofold: one, so I could start keeping a record because I'm horrible at journal writing and it's one of my goals to establish that as a habit. Also, I wanted to share my testimony that God loves us. He was always there right by my side and I know that the fight will never be over. He loves you, and has chosen you to go through whatever trial you are being called to go through because He knows it is your refiner's fire. He is molding you to be the best you that HE could imagine. So keep the faith, and believe in miracles, because they <i>do</i> happen.<br />
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<br />Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-91205837080339705872015-11-14T07:25:00.001-08:002015-11-14T07:25:22.337-08:00When Life Knocks You Down...Breakdance!That's a line by Kid President. If you don't know who that is, I recommend you watch his videos on Youtube. He's a very inspiring kid. And that's something I needed to hear today.<br />
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So much has happened since my last blog post. Let's do some quick updates...<br />
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Work: In my second year of teaching, I have an inclusion class. Which, in the world of education means "including" special needs students in the general class setting, so they are able to learn in the "Least Restrictive Environment." It was also decided last year that I would be the Grade Level Chair (GLC) for my team of 5 total 4th grade teachers. ALSO, (there seems to be two too many also's in this update...) I am a co-leader for the Math Content group...for my entire school... WHY did anyone think I could do all of this on top of figuring out how to teach in my probationary years as a teacher?! I don't know. I have no idea.<br />
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House: For the past 6 months or so we've gone back and forth with my parents on co-signing to buy a house with them. I think it's finally happening and we'll close sometime in the end of December. We're planning on renting it out so we can save money by staying in our cheap studio. We will move out if something happens that requires that we move...which brings me to my next update.<br />
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Baby: Many, many small miracles and tender mercies have been happening lately with this. Sorry in advance, this is going to be my longest update. Simply because this one is of most importance to me, hands down.<br />
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Back in May, I successfully ovulated on 100 mg of Clomid. Mind you, this was my 8th round total of taking this drug. Yeah, I had lost count but once I finally counted, I knew that was SO NOT GOOD for my body. That would be the last time I took it. Anyway, I didn't get pregnant. I was so convinced it would work this time. It didn't, again. I was devastated, again. So we took a break from "trying" over the entire summer. We had a really, really fun summer as I didn't have to work and Josh was pool cleaning, so I'd go with him to "help" (...by swimming in fancy rich people pools and playing with puppies and dogs hehehe). It was awesome.<br />
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August would be a fateful month for me. Our close friend have a sister who has also struggled with infertility. She lives in Utah, but she was here for their other sister's wedding. We got to talking, and she said something to me that completely changed my life, along with my approach to this trial. She said, "YOU have to fight for your babies to come to earth. Nobody else but you will care as much as you do about them. Not your doctor. Not your friends or your family. YOU." That broke my heart because I knew that my efforts hadn't been 100% for fear of repeated disappointment and discouragement. I resolved right then and there, sitting on the couch next to someone I had just met, that I was going to start giving 110% of my all, my money, my time, my emotional strength, my spiritual efforts, to FIGHTING for my babies to come to earth. Step #1 was to get referred to a reproductive endocrinologist. OB/GYN's can only do so much for you, but the truth is, they don't specialize in infertility. It's like going to a general surgeon to have a procedure done on your mouth but really you should be seeing a dentist! So I fought for that to happen.<br />
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I had to jump through hoops to get my RE referral. I needed to get an HSG test done, which is the one where they use an x-ray and you watch a live image of your reproductive organs as they shoot dye through your cervix to see if it moves through your fallopian tubes easily, thus diagnosing whether your tubes are open and clear, or if they are blocked. That was probably the most painful test I've had so far. But the results were worth it, my tubes were open and no problems were seen there! I still had a bunch of other blood and urine testing to get done...doing all of that took about a month.<br />
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September rolls around and my friend asks me, "Would you ever consider doing acupuncture?" The fact of the matter is, yes I was starting to consider it. So I got an appointment with Dr. Edie Uchida and she said I had an overgrowth of the Candida fungus in my body. So I went on this strict diet and started taking digestive enzymes and probiotics to help restore a natural balance to my body. I was also getting acupuncture done on me once a week and taking other Chinese herbs. My goal wasn't to get pregnant just yet, because I was more focused on helping my body be healthy again and to function properly. Little did I know...<br />
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Now it's October. I FINALLY got my referral to see an RE and I did. I was praying that she would be a good doctor, that I wouldn't walk out of her office with more questions than before entering her office, as has happened in the past with OB/GYN's. I was praying she would know exactly what my body needed to help achieve pregnancy. She was amazing. She was very kind and caring, took the time to explain everything to us and made sure we understood what she was saying. And, she did an ultrasound! Finally! I hadn't had one in forever and needed to know what was going on. Lo and behold, she did the ultrasound and I had a dominant follicle that had been growing without my knowing. I was about to ovulate she said. WHAAAT?! Me? Ovulate naturally? On my own? Without fertility drugs? I couldn't believe my ears or what I was seeing on the ultrasound screen. I started tearing up. She said yes, start taking tests on the Ovulation Predictor Kit (OPK's) and start timed intercourse. I left happy but still a little skeptical I would actually ovulate on my own, nevertheless I started doing the OPK's daily. 3 days later, I got a strong positive: the Luteinizing Hormone (LH-the hormone that causes the egg to rupture from the follicle, which is called ovulation) was surging. I called Kaiser and they scheduled me for my first ever IUI, THAT DAY. I was on Cloud 9 and rejoicing at the fact that I was even given this opportunity to do an IUI, which is what I had been wanting for months. <br />
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November 1st. I am not pregnant. More negative pregnancy tests. My menstrual cycle starts. The IUI didn't work. I am devastated, again. Disappointed and discouraged, again. I take one day to mourn and grieve what could have been, but the next day I pick myself back up and call my RE and set up an appointment to try again for another month.<br />
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Right now, I'm playing the waiting game. I'll know by the end of the month if I actually conceive this time or not, but for now, I am grateful to even have these wonderful miracles and tender mercies in my life. I've never ovulated two months in a row before, but it's happening! The acupuncture, the Chinese herbs, the chiropractor visits, the RE doctor visits -- ALL WHICH OCCUR EVERY WEEK, have been working. I will keep fighting, keep getting back up when life knocks me down, and breakdance! --- Because I know my baby is just around the corner.Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-6569388723168705782015-06-03T20:56:00.001-07:002015-06-03T21:01:02.761-07:00Memoirs of a First Year TeacherThere is one big reason why I am writing this blog post. Here it is.<br />
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When I was completing my undergraduate studies at BYU-Hawai'i, I had a professor by the name of Dr. Buckner who frequently told us that <b>most people who end up burning out and quitting the teaching profession do so around 3 years</b>. That's the point when they struggled, they stuck it out, and after sticking it out, they realize that teaching is not what they want to do for the rest of their lives. It's probably related to the whole idea of being "overworked and underpaid." I am now halfway through those 3 years, so I wanted to write down my feelings of this past year. I don't want to finish my 3rd or 5th or 10th or even 15th year teaching completely removed from these feelings. I want to remind myself of why I chose this profession and why I stay in this profession. Who knows, maybe the Lord will show me a different path of passion to pursue, but I don't want to ever feel like quitting simply because I have a negative perspective of it and I get tired of it.</div>
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I gotta say, I feel really really blessed. Don't get me wrong, this school year, my first full year as an employed teacher was <b>SO HARD</b>. I transitioned from 5th to 4th grade, so I had to learn an entirely new curriculum and teach it at the same time. There were many times in the beginning where I would teach something not having a deep understanding and knowledge of it. So then I would have to go back and re-teach so that my students could have a deep understanding of the concepts. I would get to school between 6-6:30, and sometimes stay until 5:30-6. The days were long, the list of things to do was long, it was draining physically, mentally, and emotionally. But overall, I felt it was a successful first year. I know it's because I had a strong support system.</div>
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Towards the end of the year, I got really comfortable. I felt that I knew the curriculum so much better, I worked cohesively with my 4th grade team, and I knew my students individually. I knew their talents, their needs, and their personalities. I thought to myself, "I'm totally gonna ace this next year." I was letting myself plateau. And then Heavenly Father basically said, alright, now that I've got you here, you're ready for the greater plans I have for you. Which makes sense, because this life is all about progression; it is the reason for our trials and hardships. This is when everything changed on me again.</div>
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In the same week, I received the following pieces of news:<br />
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1) I was NOT pregnant, contrary to what I believed due to confirmation that the fertility medication (Clomid) that I took had worked, and I ovulated. I had all these symptoms and was sure I was pregnant. Nope, PMS symptoms again. That was a huge disappointment as I thought my 3 year infertility journey would finally come to an end.<br />
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2) My principal notified me that he would like my class to be inclusion next year, meaning I would have some students with special needs spending part of the day in my room. This worried me because I have no idea what to do for students with special needs.<br />
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3) After some discussion, my grade level decided that I should be the Grade Level Chair (GLC for short...education has so many acronyms for everything...) for fourth grade next year. So I would be carrying more responsibility than I did this year. Remember, this will only be my second year teaching. And I'm supposed to LEAD other teachers with more experience than me? AHHHH! I. Feel. So. Inadequate. But I'm not one to back down from a challenge, so I accepted.<br />
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4) I found out I would be moving classrooms, next to a 5th grade classroom. This worried me as well, because I relied so much on my neighbor Mrs. Arakawa (GLC this year) everyday to make sure I was on track. I was banking on staying next to her again for next year.<br />
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I was doubting myself on so many levels, but today I had a few realizations/epiphanies. One is that, I know that the support staff did not take class and teacher placements lightly, they spent a long time debating and going over the class lists and placements over and over again before making any final decisions. Which means that they took everything that I mentioned being worried about into consideration, and yet they still believe I can do it. So I should believe in myself. <br />
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I also realized that I chose this profession because I was passionate about kids. I wasn't really passionate about education per se. However, I realized this year that <b>education is empowering</b>. If I'm passionate about children, I need to also be passionate about education because that is what will provide them with the best possible future life.<br />
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Surprisingly, I did not cry today when I was saying goodbye to my kids. I've spent the last 10 months thinking about them constantly, how I could help them more or make them happier (for those who had struggles at home). Suddenly, they are not <b>mine</b> anymore. I feel like my life lacks purpose now, and I am so sad about that. But students will come and go. However, I hope some things I taught them and the memories we made this year will stay with them forever. I know they have made a lasting impression on me. The student that I considered to be my most difficult ended up being the one I had the hardest time letting go, as I got so attached to this student in the end. When this student made huge progress and even got ME's on their last few standardized tests, I never felt prouder. I saw my student's attitude about school completely change from being boring and invaluable, to being a priority and enjoyment in this student's life. I will never forget these kids. I never knew I could have this much love in my heart for kids who were not my own children. But, I like to think that this is what it feels like to be a mom.<br />
<br />
This chapter of my career is closing, but a new one will begin again soon! In the meantime, I and my awesome 4th grade team are going to enjoy our summer. :)</div>
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Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-73642279782941037452015-01-20T00:03:00.002-08:002015-01-20T00:03:24.445-08:00New Year, Not So New ThoughtsI was reading through some old blog posts since I hardly update this thing...it's interesting how I'll read something and completely not remember ever thinking or writing it. But anyway, this post is a follow-up of a post I wrote in January 2012 titled, <a href="http://arijoshgraham.blogspot.com/2012/01/new-year-new-thoughts.html">"New Year, New Thoughts."</a>
<br />
Well, I changed the name of this blog post to <i>not so new</i> thoughts. The reason being, as I read through that post, I realized...personally, I haven't even changed. I <i>still</i> feel discontent when I thinking about who I am as a person. I <i>still</i> have a lot to work on...and at first, I felt really discouraged. It has been 3 years since that post was written. Have I really not progressed at all, since then???
<br />
Let's make a list of milestones in the past 3 years:
<br />
-graduated from college, summa cum laude<br />
-finished student teaching<br />
-got hired at a school right away<br />
<br />
And that's pretty much it....plug in surfing and dates and family activities in between and that's me in a nutshell. Yeah, those are things I've done. But what have I <i>done</i>?? My thoughts reflect on a church hymn:<br />
<br />
<i>Have I done any good in the world today?</i><br />
<i>Have I helped anyone in need?</i><br />
<i>Have I cheered up the sad, and made someone feel glad?</i><br />
<i>If not, I have failed, indeed</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Maybe that's why I feel so discontent and unsatisfied at times. I have felt highs and lows, and at times it seems the lows outweigh the highs. The worst part is, I know. I know that it's all up to me. My attitude, my actions. My choices.<br />
<br />
I want to be selfless. I want to feel content. I don't want to be consumed by things I think I want but can never seem to get. I don't want to feel like I'll never measure up to others or my own (un)realistic expectations. This year, I want to change my nature. Does that sound contradictory, or what?<br />
<br />
I want to be more Christ-like. I need to stop using the word I.<br />
<br />
This is a new question for myself: What are some needs of those around me? And how can I fulfill them?<br />
<br />
2015 WILL be different.<br />
<br />
Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-41514322703340224152014-11-30T00:29:00.003-08:002014-11-30T00:29:46.552-08:00"I Have a Broken Leg, You Have a Broken Arm."http://www.mormonwomenstand.com/finding-faith-in-infertility/ Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-24372269459286398642014-09-24T00:32:00.005-07:002014-09-24T00:41:31.554-07:00I Am The OneI am the One who <b>dreams</b>. I take a look at my present and say to myself, "That's great, but it's not enough." I thank God for the outpouring of love in my life. Yet, I yearn and seek for the ultimate manifestation of love that I may give someday.
<p>
I am the One who <b>aches</b>. When you stop to think and look and just sit and take in all that is the pain and stress you feel is in your life, I am right there, looking and sitting and thinking and wishing that I could have a chance at your trial.
<p>
I am the One who <b>wonders</b>. You're right, I don't know what it's like. I have no idea what it's like. How could I? I've not yet experienced it. Will I love it? Will I hate it? Will I know what to do when the time comes? Will it bring all the happiness that I have romanticized that it would? Will I still get to be Me?
<p>
I am the One who <b>tries</b>. You say it's a burden to have this life. I try to see your perspective. Others seem to be blessed while I remain empty. I try to see God's plan for them; I try to see God's plan for myself. You share your blessed news with me, and that relentless, everlasting battle starts raging inside of me AGAIN. I try to fight off the part of me that wants to scream and crumble at the same time. I try to only let the side show where I am truly happy for you, because I <i>love you</i>. I try to forget the pain that wants to consume me. I try to see the joy in the journey.
<p>
When you walk in to a party and we have not seen each other in awhile I am happy to see you, but I am especially happy to offer to hold your child. That precious life that you bore and gave a body to in this mortal life. When you need to eat or just need a break and want to do that thing you love that you haven't done much ever since your life completely and wonderfully changed, I am the One who will be there. I will take him or her in my arms. I am the One who will open my heart and let all that love spill out and just overtake the two of us in a cloud of bliss. All I see are her/his eyes. The rest of the world melts away.
<p>
When you complain about the aches and pains of carrying and growing a life for 9 months, I will be there to give you perspective. <i>"At least you <b>can</b>,"</i> I say. When you feel like those little rascals give you nothing but grief and stress in a make-you-want-to-pull-your-hair-out kind of way, I will be there to show you that laughter is the best medicine. That the innocence of a child is the most pure of all things on this earth.
<p>
I am the One who has a purpose. I am One, among many, who struggles with infertility. I am <b>NOT</b> an infertile woman. Infertility does not define me. I define Myself.
<p>
And I love Me, for who I chose to be. And I love my body for all that it does and does not.
<p>
I am the One. But someday, I hope to be the One on this earth who my children will call <i>mother</i>.Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-27440559380838315402014-05-13T17:49:00.004-07:002014-05-13T17:49:28.914-07:00When Your Hut Is On FireThe only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island.
He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned
the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually
managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements
,and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food,
he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the
sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He
was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, 'God! How
could you do this to me?'
<p>
Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the
island! It had come to rescue him! 'How did you know I was here?'
asked the weary man of his rescuers. 'We saw your smoke signal,' they
replied.
<p>
The Moral of This Story:
<p>
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose
heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and
suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be
burning to the ground, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of
God.
<p>
P.S. You may want to consider passing
this on, because you never know who feels as if their hut is on fire today.Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-2330162133798245402014-05-07T10:11:00.002-07:002014-05-07T10:14:55.481-07:00TitlesTitles matter. Titles establish roles and responsibilities. Titles also credit respect and authority to recognize certain achievements. Titles distinguish one person from another. We go through life holding many titles.
<p>
I was born a Daughter and a Sister. For years I was a Center-Midfielder in soccer. I was a Teammate. For 15+ years I was a Student. Now I am a Teacher and a Mentor. But there is one title I wish so desperately to hold. I have been able to push it to the back of my mind for many months now. I'm not sure if it was desensitization or simply being in denial, but I have been able to focus on other things. In lieu of the upcoming holiday, that title has now been forced again to the front of my mind.
<p>
That title is <b>Mother</b>.
<p>
This month officially marks two years of wanting that title and knowing I would have to wait to get it.
<p>
I don't want to be ungrateful, so yes, I am truly grateful and indebted to my own mother. I honestly don't know how she managed to raise (and continues to raise...since the youngest is 8 years old) 11 children and still be as wonderful as she is today. We may not have always gotten along, but I know that she has made an impact in my life that I am truly grateful to her for in the areas where it mattered.
<p>
I am so grateful for Josh's mother, and in turn my mother-in-law. She is the sweetest lady I have ever met and doesn't have one mean or selfish bone in her body. I have only known her for 6 years, but in that time she has also been a wonderful example to me and has taken such good care of Josh and I throughout our marriage. Even before we were married, she was always praying for me and sending me sweet, uplifting messages.
<p>
I am grateful to call both of these women Mother.
<p>
I just watched a Mormon Messages video about Mothers. You can view it <a href="http://bcove.me/5i8oukf7">here</a>. It said, <i>"Life doesn't come with a manual. It comes with a Mother.</i> I also listened to a talk by President Uchtdorf, in which he says something along the lines of, "...have hope in the Savior...and never give up." I thought to myself, do I know what having hope in the Savior means? I think it means to use the Savior as a strength in those moments where you want to give up. I think it means to believe that soon, the Lord will fulfill the promises He has made if we remain faithful. There's always that contingency of remaining faithful. Why can't we just <i>make</i> things happen when we want them to? Without the struggle, there would be no story, without the story, there would be no experience. And without experience, there would be no lessons learned or values instilled in us. I am grateful for this, the true Gospel of Christ. I am grateful I have someone with the best title to carry me through hard times.
<p>
That title is <b>Savior</b>.Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-76610386549116128682014-02-02T10:57:00.001-08:002014-02-02T10:57:59.810-08:00Hastening the Work of SalvationWell so much has happened since the start of the year. I graduated from BYUH on December 15, 2013. After that Josh and I prepared to move out of TVA and that's exactly what we did on December 30th. Originally my mom had told us about this new house she was in the process of purchasing in Pearl City and told us that the deal would most likely be finalized by the end of December. Well, the end of December came, we stuck to our check out date despite the fact that the house in Pearl City had not been finalized, so we put the majority of our things in the garage of the new house and kept our suitcases of clothes with us at my moms house where we were going to stay just for a week - or so we thought. Meanwhile, I had gotten hired at Mililani Waena Elementary school to teach fifth grade. So while we were staying at my moms house, in a tent, I started my teaching career. That was stressful. In addition to that, Josh and I had the prompting a month or two before that he needed to quit his job at Turtle Bay. The reason was Josh had been missing a lot of church due to working on Sundays. I felt it was hurting his spirit, but also our marriage because he was always working when I was home from student teaching. We hardly saw each other. It was a good thing we followed that prompting because Josh got an internship for his last semester on the west side and in town and would not have been able to keep his job. He quit before I was offered a full time job so we went off of faith that I would get hired. When I got offered the job, I was hesitant because it was a co-teaching job.....I had no idea what co-teaching was! But after pondering and praying about it I knew I needed to take that job. <div><br></div><div>I was bummed when we got the prompting to move from the beloved North Shore, that totally matched our surfing lifestyle, to Pearl City.</div><div>I was bummed when our house was not yet ready for us to move in to and we had to live in a tent for a month.</div><div>I was bummed that I took a co-teaching job rather than receiving a traditional teaching job where I get my own class.</div><div><br></div><div>But I am here to testify that because all those things happened, I am happier than I would have been if things went the way we had planned it. </div><div><br></div><div>Because we moved to Pearl City, I am close to my job, Josh is close to his internship, we have bonded so much more closely with my family, and we have come in to contact with so many people whom we have helped and shared the gospel with. </div><div><br></div><div>Because our house was not yet ready for us, we saved money on an entire month's rent while it took a whole month for me to get my first paycheck. </div><div><br></div><div>Because I took a co-teaching job, I am gaining invaluable experience, I have gotten my foot in the door and started my probation to gain tenure with the DOE, and I am able to work full time and allow Josh to fully focus on his education.</div><div><br></div><div>And, because of all these things, Josh and I are able to hasten the work of salvation. And it has been beautiful to see everything turn out how The Lord planned it. And we have seen the great blessings of doing so. I am so grateful for this life I get to live with my absolutely wonderful husband. </div>Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-43427937295201134262014-01-12T21:05:00.002-08:002014-01-12T21:05:33.559-08:00Seeking to be FulfilledI spent most of this weekend brooding about my broken dreams. Actually, I don't want to make it sound like my weekend was horrible. It wasn't. But when I get carried away in my thoughts, I can easily turn molehills into mountains if you know what I mean.
This is where I am so grateful for my husband.
While I was crying and whining about my "broken dreams," I was reminded of one of the greatest dreams I've ever had, that has come true, and remains true each and every day. The dream I am referring to, was falling in love with someone who loves me just as equally. Falling in love with someone who values my happiness so much that he will continue to serve me even when I don't feel like I deserve to be served. Having the absolute privilege to be sealed, for time and all eternity, to this amazing guy who makes me so happy. This is a dream that has come true for me, and serves as a testimony of my Savior's love for me as well. And I should never, ever forget it.Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8961860112827190924.post-35789962994030551022013-10-26T18:46:00.002-07:002013-10-26T18:46:39.402-07:00My First Letter to Elder McMillanDear Elder McMillan,
Man it feels so good to be writing that out and to see it on paper (or on my computer). I'm so proud of you for representing our family as well as the Lord with your choice to serve! I'm super excited to have a missionary out in the field that I love again. You're a great example to me even though you're my little bro. I hope you've been having fun in the MTC and not feeling too homesick. I'll have to ask Josh how he dealt with homesickness, but I don't remember him feeling too bad about it. He said most of the time you're so busy you don't really have time to think about it. I don't wanna make this too long but I do want to say that I have been thinking about you a lot and we have been praying for you every night in mine and Josh's prayers. I'll just leave you with a spiritual thought for the day. After you share scriptures from Ether in your farewell talk, it made me want to read it again. So I did, and I especially loved Ether 12:12 which says "For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them; wherefore, he showed not himself until after their faith." This scripture means so much to me because I've been struggling with infertility for a year and a half now... I know it's kinda irrelevant to your situation but my point is everyone is fighting their own battle. To get on your mission you fought the battle to be a worthy priesthood holder and you fought a battle to have that desire to serve. My battle that I'm fighting and have been for awhile is trying to start my family, to fulfill God's greatest commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. I have been hurting over this year and a half because some days my arms feel so empty because I want my own child so badly...but I have seen how much I have grown because of this trial God has given me. It was frustrating at first, because look at us! I came from a mother who bore 11 children. She obviously had kids very easily... so why do I have this trial? I've learned that this was not the important question to ask. The important question to ask is not only "What can I learn?" but also "What is God's plan for me?" You will meet all kinds of members, nonmembers, investigators, and even companions who are all fighting their own personal battles. Believe it or not, you will be a source of light and strength and comfort for them. So keep fighting your battle Elder! I know that if I keep the faith that the Lord will bless me with a miracle. I consider you to be on a mission as a miracle. Not because I doubted you at all! But because it has been 12 long years since we've had a missionary in our family... I truly believe in miracles and know you will witness many on your mission! I love you and I'm proud of you, Elder! Keep fighting!
Love,
Ari
Ari and Joshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10101911955032557492noreply@blogger.com1